Birthday Boy.

Today child #7 turns 24. he is shown in the photos here at age 7 when he had leukemia and now all grown up. Of all the kids he is definitely the survivor. He almost died so many times it's a miracle that he's still here(but I'm glad he is) and God must have a plan for him! Both before, during, and after he was born he almost died several times but God spared his life every single time.At 10 weeks prego I started bleeding( and not just a little bit,either) and I feared a miscarriage(as I have had miscarriages before; in total I've had 6, and it started with bleeding) and at the ER they said I said I had a 50% chance of losing him and if I wanted to try to save him I had to spend a week on bed rest, only getting up for bathroom breaks, so that's what I did and he held on, thank God, but the bleeding still continued on and off for the next 10 weeks which was unnerving as each time it started up again I always feared I was losing him. It turned out I had a blood clot in-between the placenta and the cervix. Then at 35 weeks (5 weeks premature)I expelled a huge bloodclot the size of a fist and bled alot so I took an ambulance to the ER and I was admitted for observation,scared shitless he would be stillborn,and I went into labour the next day and he was born, blue, limp,and not breathing and had to be revived, and he spent a week in NICU with several epsidoes where he'd stop breathing and it was terrifying. I even had him baptised in the NICU because I really didn't think he was going to make it.

Then when he was 7 he got leukemia and they said when he was diagnosed he was in such bad shape his bloodcounts were so low his heart was enlarged from the strain and if it had been just a couple of more days he would have died of heart failure or brain bleed,and so began 2 1/2 years of chemo, transfusions, surgery, etc. and he came close to dying a few times during, but he made it,and then as a teen he attempted suicide as well but survived that,too, and now he lives and works out in Alberta. Of all the kids I had the most terrifying journey with him but God is good and carried us thru and he survived to adulthood; a real miracle. I got PTSD from that one, but the important thing is he survived.

My prego Facebook friend also got married yesterday( her baby arrives in 3 days!) but just at the city hall and he even wore jeans and I still regret I never got the big fancy wedding I always dreamed of,and I also regret  settling and marrying someone I don't love, but I wanted a family and I didn't want my kids to be bastards; as I still am "old-fashioned" in some ways and this does matter to me, and I can still remember one of the best times I "owned" someone,too: a bully in grade 8 told me suck me off! and I replied, There's nothing there to suck!!  and his friends laughed....at him and he got really mad and called me every name he could think of, incl. skuz, cunt, bitch, whore, douchebag,etc. but I had won and it felt good,and yesterday both my hubby and the 27 YR old stepped in shit(the 27 YR old in bare feet,too,and it squished in-between his toes! ewww!) on the floor that fell out of my mother's diaper and down her pant leg (she's even worse than the dog; at least he shits outside)and they were literally retching and barfing,  and I heard gunshots outside the other day as well; pop-pop, pop-pop 4 times in quick succession, and yesterday was also Alice Cooper's birthday and he's 74! I can't believe he's that old! That's really, really old! Tomorrow is also Bob Marley's birthday.

It also takes all my $$$ every month just to pay the bills( and then my mother complains that it's still not enough to cover all the bills!) and I don't even have any left over for my own personal needs, such as shampoo or deoderant,and it makes me feel so used, and Buddy turns 16 on the 20th too and now he's all ratty, tattered, grey,falling apart,ragged,losing his hair,etc. he reminds me of the Velveteen Rabbit; all used up and greatly loved, and when he's gone I can always get another dog later but it will just be a dog and a companion and someone for me to look after but nothing can ever "replace" Buddy because he is my best friend, my soul mate, and the love of my life, and now the Freedom Rally in Ottawa continues to grow, even though the police have set up barricades(as well as in Toronto where there's also a rally  and protest today and farmers and their tractors are joining in as well) and blockades to try and stop it, thwarting citizens' right to protest, and in Ottawa the gov't even bought out all the hotel rooms too so they're all full so no one can come in from out of town to join the protest, even though that won't stop them; they can just sleep in their vehicles or put up tents. You can't stop people fighting to be free. The gov't also had Go Fund Me seize the 10 million$ they got in donations as well( more proof again of an authoritarian Police State) and on Friday schools across the province will also be staging a walk-out with students and teachers and parents supporting, protesting the COVIDianRegime mandates. The gov't asked the military to intervene and break up the protesters and tow trucks to tow away the big rigs too but BOTH of them refused.YAY! We're all in this together!!

Love is where you find it.-Kurt Vonnegut.