Last Day.

Look what I got yesterday! Sunflowers! Yay! It's funny how such a small thing can make me so happy. It's tru though that the littlest things can make you the happiest. Another thing that makes me happy and smile is when Buddy wags his tail at me showing his love. Nothing makes me happier. Today is also the last day the girls are here and they also leave for Toronto today for a day of adventure in the city and tomorrow they go to Fan Expo  and the CNE on Sunday and go back home on Monday.It will be a nice and quiet 4 days with only my mother, Buddy,and I home I just hope the Internet doesn't go out as there won't be anyone here to fix it. and I'll just be SOL. It's always nice seeing them but a challenge with so many people in the house to get a bath and a clean towel but luckily I was ok because I was always the always first one up in the mornings!My advice to parents would also be to enjoy your kids when they're young because it doesn't last long and they grow up so fast. Those were the good times and the happiest memories, when they were younger, and when they still loved me but now they've grown up there's a distance between us and I just have to accept that esp. with the 19 YR old( who I used to be really close to) that I've lost her; she's gone now and she's never coming back and we'll never get back what we once had and it's actually harder to lose someone that's still living because at least when someone's dead it's final and there's closure.

I tried to sneak this photo of some of the kids playing video games but they somehow sensed it and the 19 YR old and second-oldest hid but you can see the 26 YR old( the one on the left with the Elvis pompadour hair that looks like a Goth biker Punk rocker) and the 27 YR old being his usual goofy self and part of the 15 YR old's head and even my mother on the far left sitting down with her walker. As always the 26 YR old horrified me looking like a character out of a Tim Burton horror movie( and now dyed her hair a black colour; it used to be flaming red) but I never said a word and just kept it inside and she's always creeped me out and been sinister and given me the heebie-jeebies and now she's even moving into a new place and the address is 666.

Holy f*cking shit!

I also asked the 19 YR old to show me all her tattoos and explain the stories behind them( as tattoos usually have a history behind each one) but she refused, pushing me away and the second-oldest also has a tattoo now,too( on her shoulder) and said that both the 19 YR old and the 21 YR old have several of them and maybe the 19 YR old has so many on her arms also to cover up all the self-harm scars from before,too?The 26 YR old also has tattoos, leaving the 23 YR old as the only girl who is tattoo-less.

This is also my friend M in Egypt filming a video. He is honestly one of the coolest people I know. He's an Egyptian with dreadlocks; I mean, how awesome is that? He is also like me in many ways esp. that he's a "misfit" and doesn't fit in with his conservative society or his family and is misunderstood and an outcast. He is my rebel Brother From Another Mother. I also saw one of my old and fave. schools in Toronto on the news the other day and it brought back happy memories, and yesterday I was outside the front and I heard one of the construction guys shout, Oh, shit! We sprung a leak! Aw, f*ck! That can never be a good thing and I was sitting out in the bakyard smoking weed listening to the crickets and cicadas chirping and it felt like the whole universe was humming and buzzing and vibrating and it was just so peaceful. I just love summer days like this.

EDIT:

They just left a little while ago and it was funny and a flashback to when they were kids; everyone scrambling to find seats( my hubby borrowed a friend's van) and my hubby saying, The door's over here,guys!, ---(the 27 YR old) move over and let ----(the 15 YR old) in! etc. and me reminding everyone before they got in to go pee and get their water bottles and to make sure they didn't leave anything behind in the bathroom,etc. and seeing them get together again they were like teenagers all over again it was so funny, but every time I'd walk into the room the 19 YR old would leave which was hurtful but I just decided I've had enough; I'm done with her shit and I'm done with her. My mother asked why do I even bother and I said I'm still hopeful but no longer. Now I'm just done.As they were buckling in and about to pull out of the drivway I told Buddy to take one long hard last look because that is probably the last time both of us will ever see them again.

“I don’t hate people. . . I just feel better when they’re not around.” — Charles Bukowski