Monday, September 19, 2022

Falling Into Fall.

It's almost fall(in just a couple of days) but the weekend was really nice and a taste of summer; it was warm 26 C with a humidex of 31 C but sadly rain so I still wasn't able to be outside and supposed to be the same today and then cool off to a more seasonal. Each season has its own beauty though and now is also candle season when it's dark such as on a dull rainy day or at sunset. Also everything pumpkin spice which I love and is almost like catnip for me(I know, I know, typical White Girl even though in most other aspects I'm Black inside) and this morning using the electric shaver to trim around my ears I missed and nicked a chunk out of my upper ear and I didn't know it even cut skin.....oops....it does......and how.....the damn thing gushed blood and just wouldn't stop bleeding....not even when I put that "magical" stop bleeding stick on it, and I had to keep holding it to apply pressure for 20 minutes or so until it finally stopped( but I've been told many times that I'm a "bleeder") and let me tell you it's very hard to try and do things ( have a bath, wash hair, put lotion on, get dressed, etc.) using only one arm but I managed.

This is also the pretty orange leaves on the maple tree next-door and yesterday I was struggling with the timer on the stove and the 27 YR old shook his head in disbelief and quipped, Well, you did say that math isn't your strong suit! and You're so stupid it's really sad, like a dog born without legs and my fave. Facebook friend asked why don't I "do something about those toxic people?" and that he should move out being so disrespectful, esp. if he's not contributing to the household and I know he's right and I wish I could move out but where would I go and I need a sort of "overseer" to help me(being an autistic person) with things like finances, bills, taxes, etc. and the 27 YR old got fired from his job and even before just made minimum wage which was still just enough to pay for his own food. Yesterday I also had really baaaad abdomenal pain and when I wiped my arse there was blood on the paper so I wonder if it's just a hemmoroid or maybe more colon polyps again( when I had my most recent colonoscopy 10 months ago they removed some polyps) or just my diverticulitis acting-up or maybe even something more sinister like colon cancer, which does run in my family?


This is my sweet boy yesterday on the front veranda before it started to rain and yesterday he was really limping along painfully( my guess is his arthritis was worse with the damp rainy weather) and he hid under the couch,poor boy, and the 27 YR old said he also has a designated Plant Watering Day(Sunday) and I do as well(Monday) so I don't forget; he has a cactus and an aloe plant and I don't think he named his plants though like I do but I know the 23 YR old does, and I wonder too if the Queen is aware of all the outpouring of love and all the people that wait and stand in 9 km or longer lines and wait overnight and for 30-something hours to pay their final respects to her and how beloved she was to so many? I'd like to think so; it's just so overwhelming and I'd be lucky if even one person shows up for my funeral.

Still in confusionWith no end in sightInside the illusionNothing feels rightLiving in dark timesThis message I sendToo much confusionWill it ever end?-Ozzy Osbourne

 

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Pondering For The Day/