I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that you mean autistic adults who are also verbally articulate on a more-or-less age-appropriate level and similarly academically capable, with relatively light support needs.
In the case of autistic people who hover in that region of the spectrum, there are a number of factors that can cause neurotypicals to assume our immaturity:
- We tend to be more true to ourselves and not just drop our hobbies, prized possessions, and special interests just because society has arbitrarily decided that they no longer match what we should like or value based on our chronological age. For example, I not only collect dolls and My Little Pony figurines as a grown woman, but I also still own the majority of my dolls and stuffed animals from childhood. I still watch cartoons (American and international, and not just the ones made explicitly for grownups), read manga, and play video games. I have no interest in following celebrities and fashion, or having kids, or reality T.V., or scripted dramas about back-biting adults who haven’t mentally matured past 14 but swear up-and-down that they’re grown. Because my interests and hobbies appear to be those of a 12–15-year-old and I feel no compulsion to hide them, people assume my immaturity based on that.
- Our sensitivities can cause us to shy away from activities or environments that “people our age” are supposed to endure or enjoy. Take working in a retail store, for instance. Most people in our modern society see that as basically “baby’s first job.” The tasks are generally regarded as relatively simplistic and no special training is required to qualify. But, the environment! AC on year-round to compensate for customers wearing winter coats, constant music that never ends in the background all day long, the beeps and buzzes of check-out equipment, not to mention the florescent lights and (if you’re especially unlucky) lots of extra smells. Most adults and teens can tolerate such an environment for long periods of time with little trouble because NT people are better at filtering sensory information and aren’t as sensitive to it as autistic people often are. Not having this filtering ability makes us seem immature when we complain about noises or smells or physical sensations that others aren’t bothered by or barely even notice, and even more so when we refuse to go to an event or work in a certain field because that environment is Hell on our senses.
- We communicate differently than what is considered “normal.” We tend to make less use of body language, especially subtle body language, when we communicate, preferring our words to do the talking. When we do use body language, we may use it a bit differently or only deliberately communicate in broader or more obvious poses and expressions. We also tend to miss subtle cues of body language and vocal tone given off by NT people and interpret certain messages quite literally, especially if we aren’t familiar with the idioms or shorthand being used. This can make us look distant and under-emotional, overly emotional, naive, and immature, and especially works against us in job interviews and professional settings.
- We tend not to play or buy into the social games NT people play. Why does it matter what a good conversationalist you are when your work should speak for itself? Why does it matter what you wear to work so long as it’s clean, especially if you’re doing a good job? What’s with all the ring-kissing, hoop-jumping, and networking? That’s so inefficient! We often openly question superiors, point out flaws in plans and company policies, and give suggestions and ideas on how to improve when invited…without realizing the invitation to do so is an empty platitude to make people feel acknowledged and valued without actually acknowledging or valuing them, not an actual invitation to help improve the status quo. We don’t pick up on silent hierarchies as easily or quickly as NT people, and we’re often very honest with people. All of that can make us look immature or childish just because we’re not playing by the unspoken “rules” of the adult world.
- We’re highly intrinsically motivated. Instead of being motivated mostly by someone dangling a physical or social reward in front of us to do a thing, we’re motivated to do a thing because it makes us happy and aligns with our interests or personal goals. This can look childish and sometimes lazy, when what we are or would prefer to focus on might actually be a lot more productive than what the NT people around us are trying to force us to do. In fact, left to our own devices we can be quite industrious just because we can and we want to be. But, because our productivity does not always align with what the NT people around us want to accomplish or what they want us to do (for them) with our time, we get labeled immature and lazy.
- Constant rejection from jobs, especially decent-paying ones, which often leaves us stuck living with our parents much longer than either we or they want us to. When potential employers constantly misread you on interviews, when you don’t have the references or work history for a great job even though you have the credentials, when you either can’t land any job at all or the only thing you can get is a low-wage grunt job that doesn’t allow you to be able to afford to put a roof over your own head, when all of your own independent business ventures fail due to a lack of social resources…Well, if you don’t end up homeless or on welfare, you end up stuck at home with Mom and Dad. In our society, Failure to Launch is a failure to be an adult, and thus, a failure of maturity.
However, under my Eeveelution T-shirt, behind the shelves full of toys and comics, in spite of the fact that my social aptitude is definitely below what a “grown woman” should have…I am a mature and intelligent adult. I can cook for myself, I can do highly-skilled work, I hate being in a position where I need to depend on or ask help from others for things that I should be able to do on my own, I know myself well and understand when to stop before I hurt my fool self and when to keep going, I can analyze and evaluate a situation and decide for myself if I should stay or go, I can make solid plans based on prior observations and current knowledge to get things done well and on time, and I’m darn good at making and keeping to schedules! I’m responsible, honest, hardworking, passionate about the things I do and darn good at them. I don’t need someone else to tell me to be productive or what to spend my productive energies on, I can do that myself and I have two 400+ page novels to my name to prove it! I think more deeply and seriously about life, my feelings and needs, the world we live in and how to improve it, and big stuff like the nature and concept of “God” than most people I know. I recognize the rights of people to live their own lives on their terms so long as they aren’t infringing on another living person’s right to a happy, peaceful, and free life.
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