Friday, November 18, 2022

The Kids.

This is a really old photo of some of the kids( the 2 youngest hadn't even been born yet) at the old church and it got me thinking about the kids and their various personalities and gifts and so here it goes: the oldest has always been one of the Smart Ones(but also an  arrogant  S.O.B in his intelligence, too) and a high achiever and he got a university degree in Business and Finance and then just threw it all away deciding that he "didn't like it" and now works a completely different job, wasting all that time and $$$ and I used to be really proud of him but now the most disappointed because he also defaulted on his student loan, ditching it on my hubby to pay because he co-signed, which is a really irresponsible and shitty thing to do. He now lives in Edmonton. The second-oldest lives in BC and she easily was the most difficult baby; she screamed(not cried) 24 HRS a day for the first 2 years and was the  most defiant and destructive of all the kids when she was younger and she even trashed an entire bedroom when she was 3-4 years old, even ripping apart a mattress with her bare hands and she was so bad she'd even do something right in front of me and then boldly lie right to my face and deny it (she even called 9-1-1 and hung up and then they angrily called me back and bawled me out) yet as an adult  I ended up to be the most proud of her; she wasn't the "best" or brightest student but she was able to graduate university and  fulfill her dream of living and working in Japan( all on her own, at a young age, for 3 years) which I found impressive. The 3rd and 4th were severely handicapped and infantile and I don't like to talk about them or remember as it's too painful, and #5 ( the 28 YR old) has always been the Funny One, the prankster, the one that could always make me laugh and he( as well as the oldest) also has the same 'twisted" sense of humour like I do and I've always had this bad "feeling" his entire life too that he's going to die young, although I hope that I'm wrong. He's also very manipulative and uses people to his own advantage as well which concerns me and doesn't seem to have any empathy towards people.

#6 has always been Goth since she was a teen and I was hoping it was just a "phase" she'd outgrow but sadly, not, and she's always given off this sinister, creepy, "Dark Side" vibe and I never really could relate to her but she's also gifted in piano from a very young age and an over-achiever. She almost completed her Psychology course in university( with only something like 3 courses left to graduate) when she dropped out, which is disappointing; to get that far all for nothing, and # 7 lives in Edmonton working construction and he's the one that caused me the most worry; almost dying several times; before, during,and after birth, and then having leukemia at age 7 and a suicide attempt at 17, and #8 ( the 23 YR old) lives in Ottawa and she's the Pretty One and a writer and paints and #9 is the Diva and Mean Girl (and looks down on others she deems "inferior" that aren't thin, pretty, fashionable, popular,etc. and mocks them)and lives in BC with 2 of her sisters and is in fashion design and reminds me of the bullies in school that made my life in Jr. High a living hell, and #10 broke my heart; we used to be really close until she just suddenly broke one day ( self-harm, anorexia, suicide attempt) at 14 and pulled away and decided to hate me,and the youngest( #11) is one of the Smart Ones but he was a difficult baby; he was fussy and cried alot and was hard to feed and comfort and  he's also very disturbed,too, and even came at me with a knife, and I see signs of a future sociopath. So, that's the kids(and their personalities) in a "nutshell", the good, the bad, and the ugly, but always the truthful, as I see it from my perspective,and what I've had to endure.

As well, the snow had all melted but we got more overnight so it's all nice and pretty and white again and enough too I had to shovel Buddy a path at the back so he could go pee this morning and we're supposed to get 15-20 more cm tomorrow and the school buses were cancelled again today too so kids get a long weekend ....and then the strike starts on Monday....I'm soooo glad we've always homeschooled; we've never had to worry about any of this shit, and I actually miss the construction guys NOT being here now they're gone too as I'd gotten so used to them being here every day for the past 4 1/2 months it was just like part of the street landscape almost and now it almost feels strange to NOT have them here anymore, plus it was fun watching them work and seeing the progress.

As an unvaccinated, I would love to thank the vaccinated for proving I was right all along.-Notalia on Twitter

 

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