Just Some Thoughts.

After starting to get a bit better my back is now worse again, after I did the garbage again so I think it must be connected even though my hubby says it must be a "coincidence" but I don't believe in "coincidences", so either I must have strained my back and/or pulled a muscle either bending to tie the bag up or dragging it out onto the veranda?My left shoulder hurts today as well. I need an overhaul for Christmas. My hubby also just blindly and randomly takes any chocolate from any day on his Advent Calendar as well instead of the proper day and the 28 YR old just ate all of the chocolates for every day all at once which is NOT how you're supposed to do the Advent calendar and is just wrong; they're just a couple of cheaters, and some asshole also put a new bag of milk in the container in the fridge( usually they just leave it in there empty or with one drop left and I always get stuck having to re-fill a new bag).....only didn't snip the end off so when I went to pour it nothing came out and I was like What the f*ck? I live with such savages. The other day watching the news my mother also came out with the most racist thing ever: she saw a guy on the TV and blurts out, Boy! He's really black, isn't he? as his skin tone was that beautiful dark chocolate colour and I told her off and I can't believe some of the things that come out of that woman's mouth! My hubby also got a really good Christmas bonus from work this year too so we can finally get a new TV to replace our piece-of-shit that always turns off and has no sound! Poverty sucks but God provides!

I also made up the Christmas song Let It Snow, let it snow, let it snow.... as I'm a 'ho, a big 'ho, don't you know.... and the Santa hoax was my first real taste of being betrayed as a kid,too,(as well as being molested by a relative) and when I found out that that not only did my own mother lie to me and trick me but that all adults were in on it too I knew I couldn't trust adults or believe what anyone said ever again. I think I was around 8-9 years old and it also made me feel so stupid and so gulliable for believing it all that time,too. It was at that moment I knew that everyone lies and you can't trust anyone.I also wonder with the 26 YR old's sex-change if he now pees standing up,  and my mother said she "still loves him no matter what" and that's what "gets" me,too; the grandkids can do anything ( even kill someone) and she'd still love them but no matter what I do she'll never love me, and the change will be a big adjustment for everyone too but just another change we'll have to adapt to, and I just didn't see it coming; it wasn't on my radar and my hubby said I said before that he's "looking more and more like a boy all the time" which I don't remember saying but the fact itself is true though and my observation was spot on and now I know why.

There is an eagle in me that wants to soar, and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud. Carl Sandburg