BPD?

I came across this thing called BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder and it describes me and my symptoms perfectly. It is very similar to bipolar and even makes me wonder if I might have been misdiagnosed, or perhaps maybe I might even have both? With BPD you have severe depression, are suicidal, may self-harm, have extreme mood swings, fear abandonment, are sensitive such as to criticism and rejection, have angry outbursts, struggle to connect with people and have meaningful relationships, "black and white" thinking, being disillusioned by people, seeing self as bad, re-inventing self, changing religion, ideals, etc. impulsiveness, feelings of emptiness and loneliness, delusions, hallucinations and paranoia, worsened under stress, eating disorders,etc.  It really does make me wonder, and also about the 26 YR old, 25 YR old and 19 YR old. with their self-harm, eating disorders, suicide attempts,etc. It's usually caused by childhood trauma like with me( being molested ages 4-12 and being bullied in school for 2 1/2 years) but I wonder if there might be a genetic factor,too, since 3 of the kids seem possible, too, and mental illness not only runs in our family, it gallops. When I was reading it I thought to meinself, Oh, my God! That sounds like me! I remember in college taking psychology reading my psychology book and studying various disorders and it said be careful to not be quick to "diagnose yourself or your friends..." but this is just too exact to NOT be a possibility...

My mother also watched the movie The Whale after I did but she kept asking me all these questions about it, such as what made Charlie (the main character) get so morbidly obese ( it was grief due to his partner's suicide) and who his caretaker was( she was his partner's sister) and if the guy he saw passing by outside was a hallucination of his dead partner( it was actually the pizza delivery guy) etc. and it's as if she wasn't even listening or paying attention to the movie at all as she completely missed the entire plot of the movie and it concerns me her cognitive decline is getting much worse, and the 28 YR old said he could even see the parasites being expelled in his pee, too and they looked like tiny little white grains of rice, and my itchiness is getting worse as well( esp. palms of hands) which must be my liver again, and the little clock radio in my room is such shit,too, you can't do both the time and the radio at the same time; it's either one or the other, so I chose the radio for my music but the clock is 4 hours off so I just have to always add 4 hours ahead to know the correct time, and it's permanantly set on this alarm that always goes off every day at 4 am I don't know how to disable,either. I swear, I seriously have to get a new one. I'm so tired of this shit.

We have to choose to sink or swim, to become victims or victors, to become bitter or better.-Sharon Gearen