BIG Vent.

I was originally not going to post this until tomorrow but I'm just so mad, so pissed-off, I needed to vent big-time and what if I died tonight during my sleep and I was never able to express my frustration and anger? I have no one to confide in, to comfort me; I just have this blog to "vent"; to express myself and to let out my anger.  Today both my hubby and the 28 YR old said that I "never do anything" and "never do anything for anyone else" and that I'm "lazy" and "don't do anything", etc.... even though this morning before 10 am and before my mother even got out of bed at Noon I had already collected the garbage and tossed it outside and did the laundry both washed and dried, but oh, I don't do anything, so  told them it must have been some sort of miracle then and somehow the garbage and the laundry must have done itself because I'm lazy and don't do anything and then they said  that I  was "being childish, bitchy, snarky" etc. when I was just making a point. I'm just sick and tired of never being acknowleged or given credit for anything I do and even worse being accused of being lazy and not doing anything, plus they also forget I gave most of my adult years, my adult life raising and homeschooling the kids as well, but I guess I'm just lazy and don't "do" anything, so that doesn't "count" either, nor does all the cleaning and cooking that I also did all on my own as well as all the childcare and homeschooling (and while always either prego or nursing) before when both my mother and hubby worked when the kids were younger and my health was better(I guess they "forgot" that) but now my health is even worse than my mother's(she just had diabetes but ok otherwise and no pain) and I can't do as much as what I used to now I'm "lazy" and don't do "anything", yet she does much less  and pretty much always lays in bed all day yet they never hassle her.

I'm just so sick of them and their shit, and always being told how "useless" I am and one of my cousins in Europe said I should "go on strike" and when I said what I do my hubby then said I should go above and beyond my usual work , even suggesting why don't I also fold  the laundry too and put it away as well instead of "just" washing and drying it and leaving it for everyone to get their own clean clothes out of the dryer....just making more work for me, whatever I do is never enough or ever good enough, how about I steam and press and iron it,too, while I'm at it, or maybe even get it all dry cleaned? Maybe polish the silver too while I'm at it? I'm NOT the family slave and my health isn't the best but no one cares and what I do do no one appreciates.Why do I even bother? I hate my family.

 One day they're going to end up killing me.

As well as that, the 28 YR old also threw out one of my hoodies(I only noticed it luckily when I put the garbage out, I mean, when the garbage took itself out because I don't DO any work, remember?) and we needed 2 more plastic garden chairs as well but now they cost 45$ each( used to be only 20$ or so!) so now I guess I'll just have to hope that one of the neighbours tosses some old ones out with the trash and I can pick them up off the side of the road on garbage day, and hopefully the new sod we got for grass after the construction last season we won't have as many dandilions this year ,my muscles hurt even more today from my fall down the stairs today than they did yesterday so maybe I have Rabdo or something,and Buddy refused a piece of turkey because it had mayonnaise on it which is pretty picky for a guy that licks his ass, and and I'm worried about Buddy as well; he can barely even walk today and he was making these sad whimpering whining noises and his breathing sounds loud and "laboured"...I can't lose him; I just can't; he's all I have and the only reason I still keep holding on and without him I'll have nothing left to even  live for.

"I don't know if I'm extremely sensitive or life is unbearable". -Vincent Van Gogh