Fat Bastard.

Want a good laugh? Check out the actual name of the place the 16 YR old got his burrito from: Fat Bastard( like in Austin Powers!) and I remember once I got one from there at the airport too just before I boarded a flight and it cost something outrageous like 12$ but it was so big it lasted me for 2 meals. My mother also is having the grandkids phone her to say "one last 'goodbye'" as she thinks she's dying even though she's just depressed and given up and yesterday the 24 and 27 YR olds called her and the poor 27 YR old was so uncomfortable and awkward he didn't know what to say and there was mainly just uncomfortable periods of awkward silence(I was in the room at the time on the computer so I heard everything) and it made me feel sad and uncomfortable for him just hearing it and she told them to send her flowers,too; really over-the-top, and so far only the oldest and the 20 YR old haven't called her, maybe not playing that game, and the 24 YR old asked her too what she's most proud of in her almost 82 years of living too and she crooned the grandchildren, note she never mentioned me, her own daughter; she's never been proud of me even though it was me that gave her the 11 grandchildren and if it wasn't for me she wouldn't even have any grandchildren at all since I'm her only child, but I'm never acknowledged.I've never been anyone's favourite, either, until Buddy came along.

She also said how she's "like a mom to them" and a "parental figure" etc. which also hurt because it's only because she's over-stepped boundaries with my kids and swooped in and taken over, pushing me out of the way, and replaced me,and she said she sent her a birthday card last year as well yet can't be bothered to send me(her own mother!) one or even a Mother's Day card....and then they wonder why I feel like such an unwanted outsider in my family.I asked her how bad the pain in her knee is too on the pain scale from 1-10 and she said 10 "but Tylenol gets rid of it" and I told her then it's NOT a 10 as a 10 would be the worst level of pain, like labour or surgery pain and if Tylenol relieves it then it's NOT a 10; if it WAS then Tylenol wouldn't even touch it! As always she's just being dramatic and just wants attention and pity.She's really given up,too; she doesn't even watch TV anymore or listen to the radio.

  The 24 YR old also asked my mother what her biggest regret in her life was and she said her marriage and that it didn't work out and yet at the same time she asked her if her and her BF ever plan on getting married( they're just "shacking up" now) which she seemed nervous and taken-aback by and said maybe some day; they don't really discuss it but said she does want to get married and have kids some day, and the whole thing just made me feel really uncomfortable and uneasy as well and I also think it's mean to make the kids feel upset and worried like that too all for nothing; to make them think she's dying when she's really just being melodramatic like always. The fetid stench of her piss and shit everywhere has also given me a non-stop neverending headache now as well I can't get rid of and of course her staying permanantly in bed also doesn't address the problem of how she's going to bathe and clean herself,either,which is also not only going to be smelly but unhealthy and unhygenic,too, and and this is just all so overwhelming and stressful I really don't know how to handle it, how to deal with it,and how to cope. I wish it could all just go away.

and all I know is that tonight I might let go the line, let go the line.-Max Webster