Overwhelmed.

This is our kitchen sink, overwhelmed with dishes.

Just like my life.

That's exactly how I feel right now.

Overwhelmed.

Chaos.

I'm just so frustrated and fed-up with my mother.

I had to strip the covers off the couch and cushions after she'd pissed thru them and shit all over them and wash them and then she did the same thing to her bed and now the entire house reeks like a zoo and it's just soooo *DISGUSTING* my hubby and the 28 YR old gag and retch and dry-heave and have to cover their faces and can't even go anywhere near her anymore and she wallows in her excrement, not even getting up to go to the bathroom and I told her if her knee pain is that  bad she can't even stand up or walk then go to the hospital and if it's not bad enough to have to go to the ER then there's no reason she can't at least walk to the bathroom but there's always some excuse and I said we should just take her and have her admitted against her will and they can take care of her since she's not taking care of herself and then she had the nerve to say that we're NOT taking care of her!

Excuse me? 

I bring her food and check to make sure she takes her meds( which she doesn't and today's excuse was I can't find them; I don't know where they are) and I clean all the sheets and blankets and couch,etc(and I put my back out even more). she pees and shits all over, and my hubby and the 28 YR old have to lift, move,and carry her, and she says I "don't understand when you're dying you don't do the things you used to like sitting up, walking, going outside,etc...." and I told her she's NOT dying; she's just depressed  and given up and my hubby said we should call her doctor and tell her what's going on and seek her advice and then my mother shrieked I'm being so 'mean' to her and just trying to "get rid" of her sending her to the hospital but if she wants to die she can do it there and she can stink it up there instead of here. She doesn't wear any pants either and her bare shit-caked ass is visible and she has a bad yeast infection/diaper rash  now,too, from laying in her own waste. She needs intervention.

I also thought this was cute on a box my delivery came in; look, it says Just open me already! and I decided to post this extra now because I needed to vent and it can't wait until tomorrow. I'm just so frustrated, angry, and overwhelmed; I can't keep doing this and I'm just done. If she's given up then so have I. If she wants to just lay there and die there's nothing I can do but it's NOT acceptable to stink up the entire house and have it affect the rest of us.We have to live here,too. Her blanket had so much shit on it too I had to even take it outside and hose it off to clean it before tossing it in the washing machine and the second-oldest and the 25 YR old phoned her to say "goodbye" too and the second-oldest said she wants to have a baby but not get married( even though they sort of go together) but she's running out of time since she turns 33 this year and the best of her fertility years(in your 20's) have long passed.

I tried the new shwarma place ,too, and asked for chicken but it definitely wasn't; it was either pork or beef as it was all dark meat and thick and more "grainy" so it was gross and I was disappointed(after being excited and looking forward to it; the story of my life) but I just hope it wasn't pork because my stomach already hurts so bad it feels like it's going to explode and my colon does not tolerate pork and I also have pain under my left rib that feels like something's "stuck" under there and also sort of like a "stitch" in my side but sharp so I wince and suck in my breath and now my mother refuses to leave her bed I can't nap there in the downstairs bed anymore(I used to nap there when she got up as it's hard for me to go up and down stairs) and have to go up 3 floors and I always get so winded and out of breath and I'll probably end up having a heart-attack but no one cares as long as it's not my mother and it's just me.

The Waiting is the hardest part.-Tom Petty.