Emancipated!

Ahhhhhhh!

This is me yesterday, relieved, and feeling emancipated and set free.

Free to live our lives free of my mother's influence, control, meddling, interference, over-stepping boundaries, dividing my hubby and I, over-indulging the 16 YR old, without her interfering in our daily lives anymore, an answer to my prayers.

The Family meeting with the hospital went really well yesterday and she finally relented and agreed to LTC, esp. when she realized it's not much different than being at the hospital with being waited on hand-and-foot, with people at her beck-and-call, and from now on we can all start New Chapters in our lives, and she can still be a part of our lives( and we'll still go and visit her) but no longer interfering and it's honestly much less stressful without her here, and less strife, tension, no fighting, etc.and for the first time in a long  time I feel hope,too, something that I haven't felt in a long, long time, and now I don't have to die anymore,either; my original plan was to kill myself if she came back home; I was just waiting to see The Blacklist finale but now I can hold off for another time as God removed her from the equation instead so I guess for whatever unknown reason He must still want me to live?(or at least for now,anyway)

There were 2 women at the meeting, as well as my mother, my hubby, and I, and at first she balked, insisting she wanted to go home and even when I was honest with her and told her I was suicidal last time and will end up killing myself with the stress if she does come back home she just replied, But that's just you; you don't speak for everyone! (even though it's stressful for everyone)and I said to her, incredously, Don't you even care if I KILL myself? and the other 2 ladies there later told me that it really shocked, concerned, and scared them( and even gave me the number of a crisis centre to call)and they told her she no longer even qualifies for Home Care anymore because that's for people who make an effort and try to improve  and she doesn't co-operate and isn't getting any better but in fact is getting worse and needs LTC now so basically her own behaviour is to blame;she did it to herself. She's still delusional as well and says the "heart surgeon" comes to see her twice a day,too, even though the doctors that come are just Family doctors.

My mother also said she was so stressed and I told her, You know what really helps for stress? Smoking weed? You know what you need? To smoke a big fat doobie!  and the ladies cracked-up laughing and my hubby said, ....or other things,like Mindfulness, or meditation...I just hope now that nothing ruins it, like her changing her mind or they refuse to admit her since she doesn't have the Covid vaccine( hopefully that's all over now and they won't even mention it, plus she's already had  Covid anyway and should be immune or she can just say she had it) so now my hubby and I go and check out various Homes and my mother had better start being nicer  to me too because I get to choose her Nursing Home and if she's not nice I'll send her somewhere where they serve fish and play redneck country music! 😂Luckily for us as well it's covered by her pension and the gov't makes up the rest of the cost, but now my hubby will also have to make up the remainder of the $$$ for our  expenses( groceries, property taxes and bills I can't cover all of) that she used to pay for so now our deadbeat kids will have to finally pay off their own student loans instead of ditching my hubby with it( since he co-signed their loans; a bad idea) because now he needs the $$$$ to pay our bills and so we don't lose the house!

They said the average wait is weeks to months as well(it used to be years) but luckily in the meantime they'll still be keeping her in the hospital( thank God!) and NOT sending her back home like I was afraid of, but if she didn't agree to go they'd have no choice but to send her back home as they can't "force" her to go, and that would have been The End of me because I just can't cope, although I'm probably dying soon anyway with whatever medical thing is going on with me, so that will be a New Beginning for all of us then; her in LTC, me on the Other Side, and my hubby and the boys selling the house once I'm gone and moving into a smaller place, so we all get to start over. Yesterday Buddy was also waiting for me to come back sitting by the front door, and I also saw the first Monarch butterfly of the season as well as my Angel Bird; the bright red cardinal that I think is a sign from Heaven, either sent by God, the Holy Spirit, my Guardian Angel or someone watching over for me in Heaven  to give me reassurance.

No matter how big and strong you may be we all need a little help. Remember even a gigantic cruise ship needs a small tug boat to guide it.