The Lowest Point In Life.

This was by Robin Honigsberg describing the lowest part in her life and it describes perfectly how I feel in my life too with my toxic family and my depression.

Taken not long after I was kicked out of my family. They couldn't cope with my words and actions when in a mental health crisis and cut all ties with me. I was suicidal, cried every day for over a year and died a little more inside each day, wishing my first or second or third overdose had worked. My sister hasn't spoken to me in three years, I haven't seen my mother in 3 1/2 years and haven't spoken to her in over a year. She knows she's hurting me and doesn't care. I've been told to never expect to see or speak to either of them ever again. My mother’s health is more important than mine and they don't care if I live or die. They threw me away like yesterday's garbage. But I'm glad it was so easy for them to reject me, walk away and never look back. I'm totally broken and still trying to accept I'm completely alone in the world. They don't care I'm suicidal, don't eat, don't sleep and my heart literally hurts. I'm afraid there's no coming back from this; it's my fault she wants nothing to do with me and the guilt and regret I'm weighed down with is all I can think about. I miss her so much and pray every night before bed I won't wake up the next day and the pain will stop. But killing myself isn't a punishment. I need to live to suffer the consequences of my actions. I'm obviously a terrible person and she'll remember me as a disappointment, that I never made her proud no matter what I did and I'm a useless failure who accomplished nothing with my life. I'm totally broken and have never been in so much emotional pain; my heart literally hurts and it feels as though it will never end. But I'm safe - just sad.