Dinner For One.

This is what I cooked for my dinner last night. Just for me, and I always share with Buddy of course,too.

Fried Pesto and mozzarella gnocchi.

I also sprinkled grated parmesan on it and it was just beyond amazing. I had to force myself to stop eating and save some for my lunch today. I'm really  and truly enjoying my 3 days of quiet and break with just us here home alone and I can get used to it and wouldn't mind if the guys even decided to stay away a few days more. I don't even miss them.

Not at all.

Not even a bit.

I certainly also don't miss being told I'm stupid, annoying,useless,to shut up, to "stop hooting and hollering" which is my hubby's go-to redneck way of describing me every time I talk or voice my displeasure ,yell,grumble,or complaint about anything.I also like being able to talk out loud to myself and dance around like a maniac and no one can say anything.

Yesterday I also had this stabbing pain behind my left eye all day I assume is my damn sinus again and today is the first day of winter. When the oldest first moved out for university it was also initially hard and I really missed him, but now so much  time has passed and it's normal most of them are gone now and moved out I don't miss them anymore, not even the 20 YR old who I used to be close to, but she's changed and isn't the same person anymore, and now it's like out of sight out of mind, and I just see it as a chapter in my life that has now passed and long gone, sort of like my childhood or teen years; it lasted for so many years but it's over now and I've moved on to the next phase in my life.Now it's like they're not even a part of my life anymore.

I also found this nostalgic photo of clackers, the exact same( and even the same colour!) of the ones I had in grade 5. I had so much fun with them and I eventually got quite proficient at it, after getting endless bruises on my wrists. I really loved those things, and a good thing about back in the 70's is we just needed simple toys to have fun and to entertain and amuse us; we didn't need all the electronics and tech and gadgets to have fun like the kids have nowadays.We had imaginations and outdoors and friends. Last night the 29 YR old had his Ugly Christmas sweater on and deceived me saying he was going to The Club(tonight he's actually going for real with his boss and his wife for Karaoke) when really he was up in his room on a conference-style call with my hubby and his siblings doing their Christmas; stockings and opening their gifts as I heard them when I went up to bed (and I could have said something to let them know I know but I didn't bother)and it hurts how they always exclude me and I've never been a part of their "Inner Circle" (and when they left  to embark on their journey  I faked a smile and said "Have fun!" thru my gritted teeth what I was really secretly thinking inside my head was a seething  f*ck you!) yet at the same time, just like with the bullies in school that tormented me I also realize that if they treat me like that and they're that kind of people I don't want to be with them or be a part of that,anway, and who needs people like that, and I'm better off without them.

Every good thing always started with a dream. Hold on to yours.-Wonka