Doug The Dachshund.

Look what I found! I found the Dachshund figurine I was looking for and he already comes with a name: 

Doug The Dachshund.

I ordered it for my birthday present for me. My birthday is in just over a week(I'll be 57) and I figure since the kids didn't bother to get me anything for Christmas( actually the 29 YR old did end up giving me some weed that he gets free from his boss who grows it and the oldest sent me a Merry Christmas e-mail but that was it) I won't be getting anything for my birthday,either. Luckily for me my investigative skills have always been good so I was able to track it down and found it at a place in the UK called YesterHome but ended up paying more for shipping than I did for the actual item( typical in this shithole) but what can you do, esp. when you really want something and there's no other way?

I also got a book I wanted from my hubby as well. My Effin' Life by Rush frontman and bassist Geddy Lee, which cost 50$ and my hubby originally said he was waiting until it went on sale or into paperback and when I saw the present wrapped up the shape of it I was sure at first it was a box of chocolates so I was surprised; I guess he felt badly about the skirt he got me that I got ripped-off and it didn't end up looking at all like it was supposed to even though it wasn't his fault. Next year my Christmas gift list will only be 2 presents: a gift for him and for the 29 YR old; the only ones that gave me gifts because you get what you give. Buddy even opened up his gift( squeaky toys) too and eagerly tore the wrapping open with his mouth and was like an excited little kid and it was so fun to watch him and my mother got the most gifts, 2 from me and 1 from my hubby. God also gave me a nice gift as well: I sat out on the back porch smoking a doobie and 5 cardninals perched in a tree right across from me; my Angel Bird and what I assume was his wife and kids.

It was beautiful.

We also did our Christmas meal European style; having the big meal earlier in the afternoon and having something "lighter" later on in the evening. My mother freaked when the 29 YR old took a turkey wing as well and shrieked at him that she wants to save the wings to bring back to her friend at the LTC home because that's her fave. and she also demanded we wrap up and save her some dark meat....and then oh, yeah, some white meat too, to bring back to her friends(even though they have food there), and then he asked if it was ok if he took a leg to eat...and we told her we need to still save some for left-overs for our dinner today,too, and he told her she can't take it all back to "impress her friends" and she also kept having everyone do/get/bring stuff for her all the time as well, even stuff she's perfectly capable of doing herself at the Home, such as rolling herself around from place to place in the wheelchair but here she always had someone else push her from one room to the other, being demanding as always. Buddy still remembered her,too, and went over to greet her, tail wagging.

Yesterday wasn't so bad,afterall, and I just told myself and pretended it was just like any other normal day (and just changed the way I look at it) except my mother was here and I had to cook extra food, but I also had a new book to read. Even my mother also asked, Aren't there any gifts from the grandchildren? and I told her they're just thoughtless, selfish, inconsiderate cheapskates, even though she never gave presents to anyone herself,either. Other than the free weed I got from the 29 YR old my hubby and I were the only ones that  even gave out gifts.It's not even about the gifts themselves but that someone cares enough about you and puts the thought into getting you something that they know you'd like and that suits you and that you would appreciate as it shows that they know you and "get" you and are thinking of you. I was also the only one that ate dinner in the kitchen and everyone else just ate theirs in the living room so no one even ate in the dining room this year( we were too lazy to set it up) so it was really informal and Christmas as we once knew it is over now.

I live a normal life but some where within me, these fears have created a little home for themselves.-Unknown Author