Tuesday, December 19, 2023

My Place In The Family.

I got this from Quora  and it describes me and my place in my toxic narcissist family. 
I'm the scapegoat.

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The scapegoat is typically the healthiest and emotionally strongest in a toxic group.

Being independent-minded and/or strong-willed makes them a narcissistic leader’s nightmare – because they can’t be controlled, brainwashed or manipulated.

By not falling into line or swearing blind allegiance to the self-appointed leader, they pose a threat that has to be extinguished.

Hence the scapegoating.

What sets the scapegoat apart is their integrity and the fact they’ll speak up about uncomfortable truths/injustices. That’s what puts a target on their back. It takes immense strength of character to challenge toxic power-holders – going out on a limb (alone and unsupported) to stand up for what’s right/fair.

For the scapegoat, acting with morality and decency often comes at great personal cost to themselves. Typically, they’ll stand up for a fellow underdog/target, only to find that person aligning themselves with the toxic majority to gang up against them. The loyalty isn’t returned.

Hopefully, I’ve answered your question and proved that the scapegoat, in a minority of one, is infinitely stronger than the cowardly narcissist, who needs to be surrounded by an army of fawning disciples.

What ultimately weakens the scapegoat’s position is being alone against the toxic group, with everyone on a mission to discredit them and bring them down.

It doesn’t mean the scapegoat is weak at heart though. Far from it. No narcissist would survive 5 minutes in the same isolated/exiled state.

The scapegoating itself makes the target vulnerable to being picked off (purely because they have nobody on their side) but they’ll eventually recover from it and realise the toxic group wasn’t worth belonging to (and didn’t deserve them) anyway.

Scapegoats are empowered by learning the above psychology and can eventually distance themselves from toxic people and go on to lead healthier, happier lives.


 

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Wordless Wednesday.