Tuesday, December 26, 2023

My Role In Life.

I found this on Quora  and it describes me in life, whether it's from the bullies in school or my own toxic family, I've always been the scapegoat, the target and victim of abuse, bullying, ridicule,blame, exclusion, etc:


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Some of the other answers suggest it’s because of low self-esteem or people-pleasing tendencies in the target.

I disagree.

Having closely observed these dynamics over time (through repeatedly being scapegoated), I think it’s the opposite.

The scapegoat poses a threat by being some or all of the following:

  • Real (the scapegoat is their authentic self at all times, not relying on masking/fakery)
  • Confident (with inner self-esteem)
  • Emotionally deep (not shallow/superficial)
  • Moral (believes in honesty, fairness, decency, kindness)
  • Independent of thought (refuses to be brainwashed or to go along with ‘groupthink’ in order to belong)
  • A truth-teller and justice seeker (prepared to speak up on uncomfortable topics, regardless of the personal cost)
  • Anti-narcissist (doesn’t like people with NPD and lets that be known by refusing to kowtow to them)
  • Anti-clique (would rather stand alone than do the sucking up, fawning and shrinking of oneself that’s required to belong to a toxic group)

Far from being a vulnerable victim, the scapegoat is actually a challenge to those who believe they’re entitled to blanket domination and control over others.

When someone is resistant to being charmed, manipulated or pushed around, what else can a narcissistic dictator do? They have to break them down through scapegoating and/or smear campaigns.

Repeated scapegoating happens because there are so many weak, chronically insecure people walking amongst us (and also forming toxic groups).

It’s not about what the repeat target needs to fix in themselves; it’s about the strength of character they present to disordered people (who view them as mere objects who should fall into line and comply).


 

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