The color is gone from life.
You are emotionally void. You feel nothing but emptiness, and you mourn the happiness you've lost.
Concrete desires dissolve. You don't want to engage in activities you usually like, be it socializing, hobbies, work, or sex. With nothing you want to do, there's no reason to get out of bed. With nothing you want to do, there's no reason to even move or think, so you feel like you're living in slow motion. With nothing you want to do, there's no hope for the future, since you can't be happy or fulfilled if there's nothing you want.
Your mind is occupied with the events that triggered your depression, since there is nothing else. You ruminate on the source of your misery. You feel worthless. You feel like a miserable failure who let yourself and everyone else down.
You're either chronically sleep-deprived or lethargic from oversleeping. You have no appetite (but may still eat to fill the void). Your body aches, especially when you are anxious.
Your only desire is to escape this. You fantasize about death's release. You wonder if you might have the courage somewhere in you to end it.
You distract yourself in any way possible, and there are many unhealthy ways to do this. You may fill your time drinking, eating, smoking, or moving on to harder drugs. You may resort to cutting to lift the veil of numbness.
If you're lucky, someone will be there to help distract you. It's incredibly hard to reach out once the depression settles in, so you can't assume you'll get this support.
Depression is often a repeated condition in someone with bipolar disorder, but the two are not the same. Major depressive disorder, or unipolar depression, is a disorder of repeated depressions without the contrast of (hypo)manic episodes. Postpartum depression and PTSD-associated depression are just a few of the other possibilities.
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