Nearing The End.

Buddy and I are nearing the ending of our journey together and our story is coming to an end very soon.

We are in our Final Chapter.

Last night just before bed my sweet precious boy had a seizure and a stroke.

He had been snoozing beside me on his cushion as I was on my computer and I picked him up to go up to bed and he was oddly arching his head and neck and then his body went rigid and stiff and he kept his head and neck that way and wasn't able to stand up, keep his balance or walk and I noticed his right side was paralyzed and he kept drooling and couldn't bear any weight on his hind legs and his back right leg was limp, and when I look back just shortly before he had also peed in his bed too and was unaware, something he had never done before. Luckily he didn't ever seem to be in any pain though as the entire time he never cried out, whimpered or yelped and strokes on the left side of the brain are "better" than on the right side for the most part, and more survivable. I remember my father had a stroke initially that left him paralyzed and he lived for another 6 months until he had a second stroke that was fatal and I was so scared I thought Buddy was dying at the time or that he would during the night I didn't fall asleep until 1 am  I had so much worry and anxiety and fear and I was so afraid I'd wake up to find him dead this morning and sdo glad and relieved he's still alive.

I can't lose him.

 He's all I have.

He's my whole world.My entire life.

This morning he seems slightly better and was able to balance himself just long enough to go pee but still unable to move or walk but when I tested for sensation in his legs he did feel it and react so maybe it was just temporary and in time he will get some improvement and recovery  but I have no problem tending to his needs and taking care of him regardless, whatever his needs are, because that's what's love is. As it is I already have to squeeze and "pump" the turds out of his ass  for awhile now,anyway ,because his sphincter is weak and he can't push it out on his own and needs assistance, so if I have to carry him around everywhere( which I pretty much have had to do anyway since he can't walk far) spoon-feed him, or put pee pads under him or diapers on him,etc. then so be it. I'd do anything for him; he's my best friend! I also wanted to talk to my mother so badly last night,too, I needed someone to talk to and my hubby and the boys were in the livingroom watching their show and laughing as if nothing was wrong(even though they knew as I told them) meanwhile my whole world was falling apart.Some sick f*ck also even LIKED and RE-TWEETED it on Twitter last night too when I said he'd had the seizure and stroke! What kind of person likes something like that,anyway?

He is the only light, love,and joy in my life.

As well, last night the 29 YR old asked the Google Home device how long to deep-fry chicken and it refused to tell him and instead suggested he go to the nearest KFC which is 2 minutes away! Can you believe it? Everyone has sold out to the advertisers! I also wonder if the underground tunnels found are maybe fall-out shelters/bunkers in case of nuclear war / Armageddon, etc. for survival or to hide in case the authorities come,and my hubby and the 16 YR old got their airline tickets for BC and they charge 175$ for each checked bag so they're just taking a carry-on which is free, and most people would think if their rabbit's foot broke( like mine did) that it would be bad luck too but since that's what I normally have maybe for me it'll be the opposite  and things will actually start to look up but then again after what happened with Buddy last night, maybe not.....and after that, and if I lose him nothing else really matters,anyway.

We are not our appearance. - Jennifer .A. Saunders