Go Back.

My friend I ( from grade 8) posted on Facebook yesterday about this funky shoe store from the 70's in Toronto (incl. the photo here) and I remember going there and buying shoes there and it brought back flooding so many happy memories of my childhood in the 70's. It was the best time in my life and a great time to grow up and to be a kid and I wish I could go back. If I ever have a chance to time travel, to go back in time, I would definitely go back to the 70's and re-live that time period again and stay there. I also just absolutely loooove these blue suede platform shoes! People now would probably say it's "gay" but I don't care.I've always had my own style,anyway. I've always loved them and partly too because of the memories but also because I think it's funky. Yesterday someone on Facebook also asked me how I "look so 'young' for someone in their late 50's" and I just wanted to hug him and tell him I love him but I just said it's probably the dreadlocks or because I've always washed and moisturized my face every day ever since I was 12 but it was such a nice, wonderful thing to hear!

I also love these pants and would love to get it except I know I haven't got the body for it; you have to be thin to wear these and not a big fat hippo like I am, and my hubby and the 16 YR old get back today,and,in fact, are most likely on their way home from the airport right now(I checked with the flight tracker and they actually landed on time as rare as that is!) and should be home in a couple of hours, unless, of course, the car got stolen or broken into at the airport parking lot being left there for over a week. With them away and just the 29 YR old and I here I also only had half a bag of garbage to put out this week( we used to have 2 bags a week but since my mother left I've been able to keep it down to just 1 bag a week as we have to pay for each bag we put out on the curb) and I debated even putting it out and paying for just half a bag but decided tostill  do it as I didn't want garbage stinking up for another week.

I also found this on Facebook yesterday when I wondered why I couldn't post anything and they never even said why; what infraction or offence I did this time and all I can possibly think of was that comment about the genocide in Gaza is that the CIA needs to go in there and "take out" Netanyahu( I heard someone referred to as Satanyahu) they probably see as "inciting violence" or something,   and I re-tried ordering-in food again using another browser in case it was just my piece-of-shit computer but it still didn't work but it also said invalid name and e-mail too so maybe it's just a glitch at their end and nothing wrong with my credit card,afterall, and I was planning on cooking buttermilk chicken tomorrow ,too ,but then remembered it's a Lenten Friday(and no meat!) so now I have to re-think it, and when Buddy eats sloppy saucy stuff I have to fold his long floppy ears back on top of his head so they don't hang down into his food and get all messy and when Billy Idol's Mony Mony comes on and I sing along and belt out the "chorus" hey motherf*cker, get laid, get f*cked! like we used to do in the club back in the day in the 80's it makes me laugh that I can still remember that but NOT what I just went into the kitchen for.

Your grandmother didn’t heal her trauma, so she passed it onto your mother. And with your mother in a consistent state of survival mode, she couldn’t love you properly. Let that cycle of trauma and pain end with you.-Sam on X