Sir.

Computer time.

Yesterday the 29 YR old also got a delivery from Macedonia and I answered the door (as it had to be signed for)and the delivery guy called me Sir, thinking I was a man, and on Women's Day,too. It happens quite often actually.

.F*ck, I hate being ugly. 

I sort of know what trans people feel being "misgendered" only in my case it hurts because I really actually am a real woman they mistake for a man  because of my ugly masculine looks and not just that I get offended because I'm just pretending to be something I'm not and they can see thru my disguise. In any case I never said anything; I just took the "hit" as if I corrected him it would just make him embarrassed and feel badly when he never meant anything by it and he wasn't trying to be mean or anything so what good would that have done? I'm used to it,anyway. Twitter also told me to take down the graphic photo I posted(or be banned) of a dismembered aborted baby to show people what abortion really is as they said it violated their policy on "extreme violence" but at least it proved my point that abortion is violence and murder!

I like these funky tie-dyed clogs as well but it costs over 50$ USD which would be even more in our $$$(like 75$ or so) so forget it ,and it probably just ends up looking like cheap glorified Crocs anyway, and for the past couple days the feeling of a big "lump" stuck midway in my throat is also worse but swallowing raw honey and smoking weed( the smoke soothes it) gives me some relief and I'm so out-of-focus too yesterday I tried to light my bong and wondered why I wasn't exhaling any smoke....only to realize that I'd forgotten to put the weed in! Duh!😂 Buddy and I also got to sit outside for a couple of hours again as well yesterday (but not today as it's raining and supposed to even snow tomorrow)and I saw a lady walk by who looked like my mother when she was younger, like how she looked when I was a kid and a teen; wearing a long brown puffy coat  carrying a brown purse and had short curly black hair and I had my recurring dream again as well I move back to my old Toronto house only in this version it was only an illusion; sort of the same but not quite and I noticed the front door wasn't quite the same but almost; it was still wood and had the brass knob thingy you put your thumb on to open with the worn-away part on it with the black "groove" but it didn't have the "slivers" of glass at the top to let in sunlight or the metal mailbox slot so I knew I had been deceived.

I also saw this photo of the old streetcars in Toronto online I remember from when I was a kid and when I was a teen they brought out a newer version and now that version has even recently been replaced by an even newer model I've never been on but just seen on the news, and I re-watched Dune the other day as well as the 29 YR old was watching it and I remember seeing the original in 1984 when I was 17 and all I remembered from it was that Sting was in it and that it was futuristic and had alot of sand. Now they've made a remake of that,too. I also saw a photo online of a guy with the caption Eagles star but I didn't recognize his photo or name from the band but it turns out there's also some redneck sports teams called the Eagles too. Who knew? HA!  I also remember the first time I saw the teen girl next door 2 years ago thinking she's pretty (she looks like one of the Jenner sisters; I don't know which one, they look the same) and thinking to myself I bet all the boys will be after her! and I just saw her a few days ago and she has a baby now so it looks like I was right!

I also wonder if The Teacher across the street has been "replaced" as I saw him yesterday get out of his car and go into his house only it didn't look like him but maybe an "imposter" of some sort and things weren't quite right all day: he never went to work yesterday ( his car was in his driveway all day) even though schools were open(I saw kids coming home at 3pm) and a big section of his backyard fence is caved in and the guy I saw looked a bit like him, wearing the same blue baseball-style hat he wears to cover up his Prince William-style receding hairline, but he also wore a velour hoodie which is so NOT his style ( he's a cardigan guy)and tight pants and sunglasses( he never does) and he was holding a cigarette (I"ve never seen him smoke!) and his gait and walk was different as well. Hmmm....I wonder.....did someone perhaps kill him and steal his identity  or rob him,or something? I also figure if I ever came into $$$ it wouldn't change my lifestyle that much; I just wouldn't have to worry about $$$ anymore and could finally afford to get all the house repairs we desperately need done. I also saw a house in Toronto sold for 350K over asking price and we couldn't even afford to pay that for the entire house! Poverty sucks!

My life is lonely But I was born to need no one Oh, always on my own.-Firehouse