During the night at 1 am Buddy make this gutteral "throaty" sound that woke me up as I feared he was having trouble breathing (or even dying!) so I took him in my arms and cuddled him until he quickly went back to sleep but it took me over an hour until I could fall back to sleep again. I also heard about a Dachshund having a suspected nose tumour/cancer( common in the breed and I often wondered about Buddy,too) and just getting a biopsy(NOT even surgery!) costs 4K which the hooman understandably can't afford so they opted for palliative care and the costs are just simply outrageous and who could afford to ever pay that?If you ask me, I think vets are just scamming people,like dentists and funeral homes do! Also I'll never forget the most piercing heart wrenching sound I ever heard( and that will echo in my head forever) is the painful yelps and cries of a dog being run over by a car. That sound will be seared in my memory for life.Today my stomach also really hurts and now it's been 5 weeks for my cough too and it seemed like it was almost gone....and then 2 nights ago it woke me up (plus choking) and then again yesterday it was back again.
It refuses to die.
Sort of like me.
Shit.
I also saw these earrings online I like but I can't wear fake stuff, only real gold or else I get all allergic and my ears turn green(and red) and get all itchy and infected(I know, ewwww, right?) and the 17 YR old gets his hair cut this week as well, only he never lets me gets any photos, either covering up his face or running away and hiding,and I'm grateful too for the fun, playful "banter" I have with the oldest and the 29 YR old(I just don't have with the other kids) as well and when the 3 of us get together we sound like racous teen boys! I also don't go around telling people I have a trans kid,either, because to tell you the truth I'm embarrassed, and I still say I have 6 girls and 5 boys(just as they were at birth) because I don't want to get into this big long story or have them judge me and think it's something I did wrong as a parent to end up with such a messed-up kid,and none of the other kids are trans. My hubby also got a laugh the other day mentioning a movie called Magic Mike and I said I wouldn't be interested in a movie about a magician...and then he said it was actually about a male stripper!
Some of my cousins in Europe also have another trip booked to Egypt(they were there in September and Europeans often go to Egypt and Turkey for a tropical vacation like how people here go to Florida, Mexico, or the Caribbean) but now they have a travel advisory due to the unrest in Israel(which is right next-door) and wonder if maybe it'll get cancelled or just substituted, like that one time we had a trip to Libya but due to unrest(and even when I went to Egypt several years ago I had an armed guard on the tour bus and police escorts) it got switched to Tunisia instead.I have this other cousin,too, who says he'd never go to the Middle East due to the "danger" and he wouldn't risk it but I told him life is a risk. I also used to really like Israel,too, until I actually went there and saw for myself with my own eyes and was horrified the Third World conditions the Palestinians lived and now with the obliteration of Gaza and the attack on the Iranian embassy....the Good Guys have now become the Bad Guys and my viewpoint has changed.
I set about collecting all the shattered pieces of my consciousness.-David Warren
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