Shit Fries.

Yesterday I tried the new McDonald's Churros McShaker fries, which is basically fries with a sugar cinnamon coating....but they were gross! I didn't even taste any cinnamon at all; it just tasted like bare naked fries with no flavour, sort of like cardboard and I was sadly disappointed so I gave them to the 29 YR old but he didn't seem to mind them and he was really hungry when he got back from work so he appreciated them so it wasn't a waste. It reminded me of those gross chips back as a kid in the 70's that were orange, grape, and cherry flavoured but that in actual reality tasted like you just sprinkled Kool-Aid powder on plain chips and they were just nasty! Yuck! Yesterday my hubby was also on his phone/headset thing looking for the 29 YR old's driver's license so I assumed he was talking to him (because, come on, who else would be asking for his driver's license, right?) so I reminded him, Don't forget to tell him to remind----------(his boss) that I need more weed! but it turned out it was someone else(I never did find out who) and my hubby was really mad at me scolded me condescendingly I was "so rude" and I was embarrassed. I'm NOT "allowed" to make mistakes, or to do anything wrong, or to say or do anything stupid or else I get scolded or humiliated.I always seem to do things like that though and embarrass myself. I'm such a f*ck-up.

My hubby also mentioned when I said I was going to make my Epic Meatball Stew on the weekend that only the 29 YR old and I would be here to eat it as the 17 YR old's in Ottawa even though originally he said he would just be away on Sunday and then he huffed I thought it was implied all weekend even though he just said Sunday so I just thought they were driving up for the day so now I have to switch what I'm going to cook all around...but the good thing is I get a break with him away for 2 days! I also think it's a bad example though to show the 17 YR old that the 25 YR old's living with her BF and they're not married.It also hurt me when she told my mother before that she's a Mother Figure to her. What about me, her actual mother? What am I? Chopped liver? It wouldn't even be so bad if she'd said Like a Second mother but like this it's like she's replaced  me and the sad thing is too we used to get along before I had kids and she swooped in and took over, not giving me MY turn with my kids and still wanting control and over-stepping boundaries and undermining me and over-ruling me.

I also don't like it if people think I'm "neglectful" with my kids, my dogs, my house, etc. because then it just confirms my life-long existance of always being told(and being made to feel) that I'm not good enough and never will be good enough, and I can't let go of my mother entirely either because she's my only link to the past and all I have left of my Old Life before I met my hubby and had kids, when I used to be happy and NOT hate my life entirely, and today when I visit her I also get to wear my new genie pants and Jesus sandals. and I can accept drag as a legitimate entertainment too as long as it's in an adult venue over age 18, but NOT in front of kids, just like strippers aren't appropriate for kids,either. Some things are just for adults only.

The only failure is not trying.-Yahiya Ali