Sure. I have year books from 5 states calling me a ‘sweet but weird girl’, but could never be sure anyone would even sit with me at lunch of let me okay jump rope.
I never quite know what I am doing wrong.
I have read on being an active listener, how to have engaged body language, learned to not avoid eye contact, how to not speak too fast, to cater my vocabulary to those around me, to simply sit and listen, but still, I feel like an outsider.
I make friends, things seem ok, then, life interferes, and it drops off.
Or, the ‘friends’ were users and got called on it, boundaries established, and a rift opens.
And finally, a genetic immune disorder went into high gear, and people take you being sick as an offense to them, and you get forgotten.
I am likable enough if I am in front of you, usually, in a relaxed social setting (work is different, ugh), but I can be the third wheel friend, left out, forgotten, out of sight out of mind. Whatever makes me ‘sweet but weird’ gices people permission to just drop me. And the fact is, I have so little energy these days, I cannot chase anymore. I cannot accommodate the world all the time. It would be nice for someone to chase me, accommodate me. But if ever mentioned, I am told I am selfish, mean. So why mention it? Just be forgotten. At least no one is mean that way.
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