My Day.

Today is My Day, the day I'm going to the CNE(I'll be heading out in about 2 hours or so) and I feel all excited just like I did when I was a kid. Some things never change. I always feel free, like the Old Me in my Old Life back in the city again and not stifled and repressed and miserable like I do here with my life now. It's also just 10 C now(it was cold overnight and I had my window open and not the A/C on) and only going up to 19 C so good weather for the "Ex" and yesterday it was so cold too only 15 C I needed a blanket when I sat outside and I even had goose-bumps and then it rained and I had to go back inside.There was even a tornado near Kitchener too on Saturday when we had that bad storm.We've had record amounts of rain this year.

I also love this skirt, which looks alot like the pattern on the Persian rug we have in the dinignroom and the same colour,too, and we switched over to our new Internet provider yesterday ok as well except my hubby didn't have the courtesy to tell me when he was switching the new router over( they had sent him a message) and I was right in the middle of trying to post something and it just cut off and said No Internet and it's just typical of his ill-regard for me and everyone notices now how much faster the new one is,too, and it doesn't take forever for everything to load and when I pointed out that I'd always said how our old one sucked the 29 YR old said that I "always complain so it's just "white noise" and no one listens" which was hurtful and the only reason I complain is because everything we have is shit and I'm tired of it. He also told me to get a job and when I said I had a job over 30 years raising and homeschooling all the kids and I'm retired now he scoffed, That's NOT a job! and That's easy! which  was hurtful and broke my heart and made me feel so devalued and dismissed.

It's sad to realize as well that no one except for my dog loves me, cares about me, or will even care or miss me when I die.

I also saw this, the same Baby Crissy doll I had when I was a kid. She was one of my fave. dolls and the size of a 9 month old baby so I got to dress her up in all the nice fancy dresses my cousin gave me from when her baby girls outgrew their clothes and I remember too cutting her hair into a stylish short "Pixie" cut too because it just didn't make sense to me that a baby would have such long hair. I also had the older version of Crissy and the Baby Alive which were also my faves.as well as that doll that crawled.I remember as well my Babushka made matching blue knitted ponchos for both myself and my Baby Crissy doll.That's what I miss losing the most in the fire,too; all the hand-knitted sweaters she made for me.

My friend F( from grade 6) also had a bit of excitement the other day as well(photo shown here): he saw a Mercedes parked across the street from him from 6-8am that kept the engine running the whole time he thought was suspicious so he called the cops and when they arrived 2 guys got out of the car and ran from the cops but the canine unit caught up to them and arrested them and it was a good thing,too, as it turned out they had stolen the car.

Holy shit!

How about that?

But anything involving interacting with someone else, like social situations or job interviews, my inner monologue was a constant stream of negativity about being ugly, stupid, and weird.-Steven. J. Greenfield