I-Yah!

I still smile remembering hanging out with my Chinese friends growing up and picking up Mandarin and so much so I almost felt like an honourary Chinese and so much so every time something went wrong I'd exclaim I-yah! along with my friends,startling native speakers and making them laugh, seeing this "honky" speaking Mandarin, and it should be the motto of my life(ha,ha) and,for example, even at my friend's house when the phone would ring I'd announce it to them by yelling out, din-hua! I also heard Bruce Springsteen is 75 (it was his birthday yesterday)and that's freakin' old; older than I thought he was; I thought he was around 69 or 70 and I was thinking the other day as well how to others Buddy is just an old, crooked, bent, blind, deaf, half-bald decrepit old dog with a wart on his back and nothing "appealing" yet to me he's MY everything and my entire world and my entire life and my reason for living and I would give my life for him, and he means everything to me, making me think that's maybe how it is with me,too, nothing to others but God still sees something in me and I'm valuable to Him and He still loves me and sees worth in me.He sees something in me that no one else does and I still matter to Him even if I don't to anyone else. I also thought Alexa said cloudy clouds yesterday when I asked it the weather too but it actually really said Partial clouds(yeah, I know, I don't hear too well) but I thought that cloudy clouds sounded much cuter and funnier.

I also saw this and it made me laugh and that's how I feel,too, like I scare people away, esp. now with not even my hubby wanting it anymore, like my pussy is repulsive,and I saw this video online as well of a rabbit giving birth and I knew they had large litters but what I didn't know is that several of them all just plop out at once; they literally just fall out in groups of 5 or 6 all at once and not one at a time and they look like newborn mice,too, the size of half a baby finger, naked,pink and eyes closed, and every 20 minutes my hubby has to still keep putting ice on his torn toe tendon and popping Aleve like candy...and yet he still plays pickleball and won't give it time to rest and heal( for someone so "smart" he can be really stupid!) and we got a package delivered here last night too for a neighbour on another street and not even the same number as us and it looks like a laptop as well so my hubby tried to drop it off(it's a good thing we got it though as someone else may have just kept it and stolen it) but couldn't find the house in the dark so he tried again this morning but no answer so he will try again later. The person must be frantic( it had a RUSH order on it,too) as I know what it's like waiting for a package and it doesn't arrive. It's maddening!

Even though I think Pierre Pollievre seems like a major pretentious ass I'd still rather vote for him (as the only way to bring down the corrupt Trudeau Liberals) as *anyone*  else is still waaaay better and less of a douche-bag than Trudeau, and with any luck he can bring the gov't down and call an early election(please, please, please God!), and one of the worst things my mother said to me too was that she "thought more of me when I was thin than she did when I was fat" and that she "likes the second-oldest so much because she's nothing like me" and as for my father I hadn't had any contact since I was 2 years old but shortly before he died years ago his cousin( Babushka's nephew) got us in contact by e-mail and so we exchanged photos and he commented I was "nothing to write home about" which really hurt(but he also added that it "didn't matter" and that he "wasn't either" but the damage had already been done and that's the part that stuck with me) so I was even a disappointment to my father who never knew me,too.

I've never been good enough.

He who thinks money can't buy happiness isn't poor enough.-Yahiya Ali