Each Day As It Comes.

I just visited my mother who was a bit more aware and able to talk a  bit(but then got drowsy again and drifted off and the nurse said she's like that in the morning and "perks" up a bit more later in the day (and my hubby said the 25 YR old got in late last night from Ottawa and visited her and she was awake, aware and talking, which is an improvement, and the second-oldest's flight got in around 2 am last night and she's coming to visit her today) and when I asked if she feels better she said yes but still looks like shit but has less IV lines now; only 2 instead of 8 or so like before, and she's off the Bi-PAP now and just has the oxygen nose prongs and off the vasopressors and her BP is stable now and her kidneys and urine output are improving and almost baseline! 

YAY!!

That's good and sounds good medically-speaking but she still looks  bad and has the NG tube in and her feet are really mottled which can either be a result of the sepsis or an indication of immiment death, her hands are really swollen (her fingers look like sausages)and retaining fluid and have pitting edema from the kidneys struggling and unable to release toxins from her body, and she was making these weird "gasping" sounds as well and said to me I have to go... and when I asked her Where? Where are you going? Where do you have to go?(I get the feeling she means to the Other Side) she was mumbling incoherently and it's hard to understand her  but later on she did say(talking about me and aloud to God, I presume) ______(me) wants to go with me so she must have been talking about the Other Side!

Her nurse's name is also Mercy and at so at first I was expecting a Caribbean or African woman but she's actually Fillipina and I'd somehow always thought my mother would live to 86 too but maybe I was wrong, or maybe, against the odds, she'll recover and survive? She *IS* a tough old bird though, as well as a fighter, a warrior,and a survivor, just like me,and when I asked her if she still wants to fight she nodded her head, so you never know, but even a warrior reaches a time where there's no fight left. Either way, it's up to God, and at least with her being drowsy she's NOT in pain or suffering,( not like  with cancer when you suffer for years in pain) which is a blessing.

I just have to take each day as it comes.

As I woke up this morning I also heard Stairway To Heaven again so it must be telling me something,and my hubby has an app't on Monday to see the dentist about his sore tooth, and I also now take Ashwagandha for anxiety with my other natural supplements and in response to Trump's threat to add a 25% tariff on goods imported from here the Feds said they might just do the same thing right back(see how they like  it!!) which is reasonable and Ontario Premier Ford even said he'd go as far as to ban import of American booze into the province or even to shut off electricity exports to USA. Ha,ha! F*ck 'em!

Flush twice, the Americans need water.😂

It's hard to keep fighting when you're barely surviving.-Three Days Grace