Update: My Poor Boy.

I was cuddling with Buddy when he had a seizure.

Then shortly after he had another one.

They were Focal seizures and NOT Tonic Clonic ones, meaning he didn't go all stiff and rigid and shake but he was staring ahead out-of-focus, eyes glazed over, out-of-it( the lights are on but no one's home) and he didn't respond to stimuli; not even reacting to my voice or touch, as if he was "locked in" and couldn't hear me and he'd arch his head back, bark, and make chuffing noises and keep opening his mouth and sticking out his tongue, which was blue during the episode,totally unaware the entire time, and I also noticed as well a distinct change in his breathing which slowed down drastically and was laboured with pauses in-between breaths and I could also tell when he was coming out of it too as his breathing changed and regulated and it was almost as if a light turned on and he "perked" up and looked startled, like he didn't know where he was or what was going on, and I reassured him he was ok and I was there and  I had his back.

So that must have been it then, what was going in during the night when he'd keep wandering off and getting disoriented and lost in my room, barking, and getting stuck.

He must have been having seizures  and then come out of it and not known where he was or what was going on and he was calling out to me for help.

So now I feel like a piece of shit for yelling at him for barking and telling him to shut up so we could go back to sleep  but in my defense it WAS from 3 am and I was tired and just wanted to sleep and didn't appreciate the barking....and I also didn't know he was having seizures, either,  I just thought he wanted to get up to pee,but now I know he couldn't help it I feel so bad.

So it makes me wonder then: does he have some sort of cancer and it's spread to his brain or he has a brain tumour, or what? Either way, it's not good. Seizures are never good. He turns 19 in 2 more months but something tells me that he might not make it.

He is my entire life though, my world, my everything, my only reason for living, the only reason I still keep hanging on ,holding on,and still keeep going. 

He is the only friend I've had that hasn't either used, betrayed, or abandoned me.

He is the only light in my life.

The only light in the darkness.

He's all I have left.

Up in the air he likes to fly Dog and butterfly Below she had to try She roll back down to the warm soft ground, laughing.-Heart