Holding On.

Buddy's still holding on and doing well, and no more seizures since the other day, and I'll be more upset, distraught, and grieving when he dies than when my mother did but then again he really loves me and she didn't, plus he's also my entire life as well. Last night my hubby also left for Montreal and doesn't get back until late Sunday giving me a few days break too and before he'd left I'd had him pick me up some meat-less frozen dinners for Lenten Fridays(like today ,and on Ash Wednesday fasting all I ate all day was 1 piece of bread, a small mini Babybel cheese, some mango yogurt, and a small serving of cheese pasta ,and on Fridays I can eat as much as I want, just no meat, except for Good Friday; it's fasting again) and he even brought back Penne Pollo....pollo...which is Italian for chicken; it was Penne pasta with chicken, hardly meat-less(duh!)

  When the store Jysk opened up in town he also pronounced it with a "J" instead of a "Y" even though in Scandinavian "J" is pronounced as a "Y" just like in German and in Dutch...duuuh.. They also have their Grand Opening tomorrow yet the store's already been open for awhile now,too, which to me just doesn't make any sense.If it's already open how can it have it's Grand Opening after?  He also said if they make them go into the office to work we'd have to move to Toronto as well (as he's not commuting 4 hours every day)but there's no way we can afford to live in Toronto any more; we can barely even afford to live here (plus this is my home and I don't want to move!) and houses there cost 4-5 times as much! He can't get fired,either, because we need his income and mine ends this month once the youngest turns 18 so his is the only income we'll have!

It feels like everything's just closing in on me now.

Yesterday I also got a cheque for 2500$ Survivor's Benefit from my mother's pension( God provides!) and my hubby said it'll likely have to go to pay off my mother's final taxes but NO WAY!! We're going to need this $$$ for our expenses(pay bills,etc); I'm NOT giving it to the gov't! F*ck that!! They can just suck it!!!!  My right eye is also stinging and red at the outer corner yet I didn't get hit or poked or anything to explain it,  and it was 7 C the other day too and I had my bedroom window open....but then at 3 am it got cold and I was freezing so I had to get up and close it and then yesterday it even snowed a bit but next week it's going up to 10 C!  

I also found out Trump is 78(I didn't realize he was quite that old!) so now I have a renewed hope that maybe he'll just croak on his own sometime soon and the world will be much better off and problem solved, and I just realized as well my mother was always my Next Of Kin for emergencies too and now she's gone so I have no more kin; I am now kinless and that just made me sad. The 30 YR old also has this hair oil(like Rogaine) that makes his hair grow I don't see the point of though as that way he has to get his hair cut even more often, and I hardly see him much anymore now,either; maybe every 4-5 days briefly before he's off again with his GF(he's obsessed with her!) and I'm happy he's found someone and he's happy and living his life but I still miss him.

I grew to just be distant from them. I always felt betrayed by them.