Rememberings.

Not too much going on lately, except the 30 YR old came back after being away at his GFs for a few days( and I missed him; so did Beja who was over-joyed to see him when he got back) and he said now( almost 2 weeks later) his nausea, headache and blurry vision from his concussion is finally gone and he's doing his rehab and should be back to work next week, God willing. I think it was also exactly 5 months today my mother went to the ICU and died 3 weeks later and on 7 April Buddy died and I can't believe it's been that long, and time really does help in healing and if it wasn't for Beja bringing light and love into my life I know I never would have even made it this far. He also knows his name and comes when I call him, and he nips and pulls at the bottom of my pants leg when he wants to play (like Buddy used to do when he was younger)as well so I wonder what he'll do when I switch over to shorts; bite my ankles? My hubby also finally filled in the hole next to our house some animal burrowed only this time he actually put actual cement in; he said last time he just poured the bag in "raw", just the gravel without even adding water to mix it( duh!) but this time he actually did it the right way and mixed it with water so it hardened.

I also had a dream about my Babushka, who has been dead for over 20 years now, and in 2 more days the second-youngest turns 22, the same age I was when I had my first child, and I remember prego with her tests showed she "might" have had Down Syndrome and a heart defect but I still refused to kill her even so and left it up to God and as it turned out she ended up perfectly fine, and now Alberta is thinking of possibly separating from the rest of the country like Quebec always has and this morning I had the old rose petals in my bath for a luxurious treat and I saw a TV ad for "Chicago Wednesday" with Fire, Med, and Police and it made me sad as my mother used to like watching those, and yesterday and today I also have baaad pain on the right side under my ribs both front and back that must be my liver and my stomach also hurts too and feels like I'm being kicked by a horse.

Eventually our trauma surfaced, took the wheel, and we destroyed one another.-Chris Freyler