Faggots.

Here is a bunch of faggots ( the original word in Olde English actually means a bundle of sticks) my hubby gathered up from the yard and side of the house.....aaaannnnnd....yesterday I think God answered my prayer about the fence and sent an angel our way, scary-looking as f*ck ( old, short and fat with a big beachball belly and missing teeth but angels come in all shapes and sizes and God works thru other people) man knocked on our door saying his wife knows my hubby(probably from pickleball?) and offered to fix our fence( put it back up and even incl. the posts he says he just has "laying around" at his house)  for only 100$ so my hubby agreed since the other fence guy likely isn't going to show up. Yesterday I also saw my Angel Bird 3 times(and twice he came with a friend) and even came up so close to me I could almost reach out and touch him, and I saw the first Junebug of the summer as well even though it's almost July.

Someone also got a new bed yesterday! I went out for the first time in almost 3 months as I had to get a few things and I found the perfect bed for Beja; the right size, a good price, and oh-so soft! I wish *I* had a bed like that! If I did I'd never get out of it!! Yesterday he also barfed up 2 turd-shaped things which shocked me and I hope doesn't mean he has a bowel obstruction because sometimes when you do you can actually barf up shit. (no joke!) It didn't smell like shit though they were just long and sausage-shaped like turds. I was also so out-of-focus in the store,too, I put my credit card in the machine-thingy upside-down to scan and the cashier must have thought I was a real retard.

Duh.

Tomorrow is also Canada Day  and a national holiday and everything's closed and my hubby and the 30 YR old have the day off work and there's big celebrations and fireworks everywhere but I never go; I don't like the crowds and I have nothing really to celebrate anyway; I hate this shithole and it has done nothing but wrong me.The stupid gov't also scrapped that ridiculous Digital Tax they were to put on tech companies like Facebook etc. for displaying Canadian content Trump was mad about although in this case he was actually right and I agree with him. I'm still excessively sweaty and have the baaad abdomenal and back pain(maybe I have an abdomenal aortic aneurysm? Growing up in a medical household I think I know too much for my own good and I scare myself sometimes) and my cough is so bad it feels like I'm going to cough up a lung.

I'm a goner.

When I was out yesterday I also bought my own big bag of dried mango slices(shown here above and are so tough it's like beef jerky) so the 30 YR old( who didn't want to share his with me even though I gave him life)can suck it, and also picked up these yummy sugar cookies( shown below) the kind that everyone either loves or hates. I happen to love them.

With a passion.

Today there's only a couple left. It's like feeding time at the zoo.

A woman whose blog I've read for years her oldest is also getting married on Saturday and I bet she's nervous(as well as excited) as being a good proper Mormon girl I'm pretty sure she's still a virgin and will be nervous losing her virginity on her wedding night and I can still remember how scared I was when I lost mine all those years ago(I was 2 weeks away from turning 22) and I was so scared I even left my body so I wouldn't feel it and afterwards I was all swollen and bleeding. I think alot of it was also fear and shame from having been molested from ages 4-12,too. Funny,too: yesterday as I was in the backyard I heard a teen girl walking by the broken "fence" laying down on the ground on the other side say to her friend about it, Look at that! That's so sad!

There's times I need direction There's times I need to roam I move station to station I showed up here alone I am my own arrow I am my own home I am my own arrow I am my own home.-The Head And The Heart