No one set of signs will apply to any one person, and no ONE sign can indicate autism.
However, a few common signs are:
Autistic people are usually quite comfortable being home alone or doing things alone.
A preference to interact with others one-on-one, or in small groups, among familiar people and in relatively quiet places, rather than going out in large groups, or to attend noisy gatherings of strangers. If you think going out to a new, loud, crowded dance club to “meet new people” sounds exciting and your friend either makes excuses not to go or seems miserable if they go along to be nice — they may be autistic.
Really liking routine, and being anxious when normal daily routines are abruptly disrupted.
Avoiding small talk, and/or responding to small talk with facts or thoughtful, informative answers. Example: if you meet me for the first time and comment on the weather by saying, “I wonder why it’s been so hot lately,” I do not hear that as “social words.” I hear that as a request for information as to WHY it has been so hot, and I will provide a meteorological answer.
“Adult fidgeting” - it is often difficult for autistics to sit still for long periods. Adults may fidget, or “stim,” by tapping feet or fingers, getting up frequently to do a small task, stroking something nearby like the arm of a chair, folding or fidgeting with small objects, crossing an uncrossing legs, doodling on a notepad, humming, or many other things. It’s hard to explain, but it is as though we have a buildup of kinetic energy that frequently needs to be released in small ways. If you go to a movie theater with your autitstic friend, you may notice that he or she repositions frequently during the film.
Having very, very deep special interests unrelated to what they do for a living. You, for example, may like to knit from time to time — maybe you get out your needles and yarn to make a baby gift or a few hats for Christmas. But your autistic friend may have a self-taught PhD-level of interest in the history of knitting, how yarn is produced, breeds of sheep, etc. Your autistic friend may also have several of these deep-dive interests, and they may or may not be related to one another. My own deep-dive special interests outside of my work (animal care) include knitting, medieval European history, historical clothing, weather and World War Two.
Most autistic people I know are uncomfortable being observed. This is difficult to explain. For example, I am quite comfortable being observed if, for example, I am teaching you how to leash-train your puppy, but if you were to walk down the hall while I am making the bed and stop in the doorway to observe me for no particular reason, it makes me anxious.
There are many other signs of autism in adults, but these are a few common ones.
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