Baller.

This morning Beja once again came up to me beside my pillow in bed and nuzzled and licked my face! Yesterday the 31 YR old was also away for most of the day in Toronto with his GF ( he said it was so he could "f*ck her in the shopping mall" and knowing him that very well might actually be true, and it turned out one of them had a medical app't, probably her as she has lots of them, and then they went shopping, giving me a day to spend with my dog without him here always luring him away) and I got most of the day to hang out with Beja and we got to snuggle and spend time together and one time as he rolled over onto his back and I was rubbing his belly I also noticed he has 2 balls now,too!

Now he has a complete set!

When we first got him back in April the breeder said she sold him as he only had one ball. She originally intended on using him as a stud(and he would have made some beautiful puppies!)....but now he has both, so it must have just been undescended (like the 18 YR old also has) the whole time and as he matured it remedied itself and came down on it's own!

He's not a Uni-baller anymore!

It also proves my theory that he really was a puppy when I bought him( I estimated about 6 months old, now a year old) even though for some unknown reason she told me he was a year old.

I'll also never forget the night Buddy died, either; gasping in my arms, tongue lolling out, and feeling his final heartbeat and then a couple of hours later he was so stiff and so cold.

He was so, so cold.

There are just some images  and memories that always leave an imprint on your mind that you can never get rid of.

He's not my first dead body(I've seen several) but his was the one that haunted me the most because I loved him so much.

Today it's also been exactly 7 months since he died and I died with him. Israel also now attacked Lebanon again; now there's a ceasefire in Gaza they had to attack someone else and yet still act like they're the victims.

You really can't make this shit up.

The 31 YR old also shaved his beard off last night and now it's a nice sexy "stubble" women love and I think it makes him look younger( beards always make guys look older for some reason I think) and my hubby thinks he did it for Movember , growing a moustache for men's cancer awareness month, except the whole idea of that is to grow  a new moustache where you didn't have one before  and he already did with his beard. That would be like shaving your head for cancer support/fundraising but you already have a Buzz cut. it's not the same. I also saw one of the dumbest movies ever by accident the other day as well: I was sitting in the living room and he came in and watched this stupid thing called Spaghetti Man and so  I saw it "second hand" and my gawd, it was just the stupidest  thing ever and that was time I'm never going to get back!

I was shadow banned… for want of a better word. I was isolated and became a non entity in my own family for some time. It broke me.-Rachna Seth