The Short End.

I was going to originally post this tomorrow but I'm pissed-off and needed to vent so here it is.

I feel like I always get the Short End Of The Stick in life.

For example, with Beja: I just get all the "grunt" work; feeding him, cleaning up any mess he makes, plus his pee and shit, but none of the perks and enjoyment( cuddling, following me around, spending time with him, hanging around, playing, the bonding,love and affection,etc) it's the 31 YR old that gets all  that.

 I just get the crap end.

Today my hubby also bawled me out yelling that Beja did a big pee in the hallway and all he does is pee & shit all over the house and he "should be trained by now" and we "never should have got another dog", etc. not wanting me to have any joy or love in my life, even though I DO put him outside whenever I see him( it's just that he's always off with the 31 YR old up in his room) and I also have the pee pads for indoors and when he does it on the floor I DO clean it right away when I see it...what more does he expect me to DO? Squeeze  it out of him? Then he got mad and said he was "supposed to be an adult and trained" and I reminded him the breeder DID tell me he WAS a year old; he wasn't supposed  to be a puppy, and I told him to go chew out the 31 YR old instead since he snatched him away from me and took over and  acts like he's his dog and always brags about how well he's  trained him and I hardly even see him....

So, he told him the same thing and he lamely said he's 'NOT his dog" as he hasn't paid me for him yet,trying to get out of the responsibility of it(and just enjoy the good parts, leaving me with the Short End), and he reminded him, "He spends more time with YOU than he does with her" and "from now on when you see pee  or ca-ca on the floor CLEAN IT UP instead of just stepping over it!! Then the 31 YR old also accuses me of "un-doing" his training (like letting him lick me on the face, for example) even though he IS my  dog!!

When I tried to put him outside to pee he also scoffed, "He doesn't want  to go out!" sabotaging  my efforts,  so basically all I do and get is cleaning up after his shit and getting blamed for it.

and he still loves the 31 YR old more than me.

I also decided to check out Randolph Mantooth after that dream about him last night  and the top photo was how I remember him when I was young and had a "crush" on him, when he was in his 20's, and the middle photo here is how he looked in my dream, in his 50's, still  handsome,and below how he is now, at age 80. He ended up like Paul Hogan Crocodile Dundee who was handsome in his 50's still but then lost it as he got really old and now at age 86 he's just decrepit and a wrinkly old fart. The same happened to Paul McCartney too.It's sad, esp. to have looks and to lose them. I also accidently left a fork in the microwave( and it was before  I even smoked weed; it's just my usual addled brain) but luckily saw it there before any damage had been done, and my hubby also always demeans me I "load the dishwasher 'wrong'" (AKA not the way he likes it) even though the boys don't even put their dishes in the dishwasher but just put them in the sink or leave them on the table but of course he never says anything to them; it's only me that's never good enough.

I swear, I hate my life and my family and I have zero love or support and I just get sooooo fed-up with all this shit.

Nothing ever works out the way you hope.

Having kids was the same.

God is like that. One of his favorite punishments is giving you what you asked for.-Milo

Maybe I should just wet my hands and touch that faulty light/fan switch and see what happens and hope for the best....

I’ve spent so much of my life fighting. I’ve been fighting with everything I had since the day I joined, and this war is very far from over. But I have a different battle I need to fight now. And it’s a battle I can only hope I win.-Cheryl E