Happy Birthday To Me.

 Have you seen last night's post Eat Crow?

Today is my birthday.

I turn 59.

Old Fart.

My hubby e-mailed me this cute card he created using AI , shown above, from when I was bald, and with all my fave. things: Buddy, sunflowers, hippos,and Chihuahuas. I think it was sweet. I also got an e-mail birthday greeting from the oldest who even said "I love you, Old Lady" which surprised me; I didn't think any of them did and they sure don't show it by the way they treat me, and I don't expect to hear anything from any of the others. I also got lots of well-wishes on Facebook which is kind of sad when you really think about it that my friends care more about me than my own family does. I was sort of hoping for a surprise gift when I woke up this morning,too, but of course there was nothing and I guess it's partly my own fault too for expecting anything much from my family and for getting my hopes up, only to always be disappointed over and over again. 

I also had my decadent piece of cake I got from the restaurant yesterday for my breakfast today and I saved the food for later today. 

It would also be kind of poetic if I died today,too, on my birthday.

This is also my first birthday without Buddy but my second without my mother as my last birthday she died exactly a week before.

I heard Stairway To Heaven again later yesterday as well.

Last night as I was sitting out on the back porch smoking mi ganja I also saw 2 rabbits chasing eachother across the frozen pool cover under the moonlight , and my friend S(from grade 8, and also the one that just got that cute mini Bulldog puppy) one of her daughters(who is special-needs and handicapped and must be in her 30's now) is in the ICU in critical condition and we know too well all about that, just like my mother was last Christmas, and it's sad but at the same time if she does die it will also be blessing(as awful as that sounds) which we also know from experience.

  We had 2 of them like that only they were so extreme  they were also violent, destructive, self-harmed(incl. banging their heads bloody on the wall and floor), shrieked like animals, needed care like infants, and smeared shit all over the walls, etc. and once they were gone we were finally able to have a normal life again and the kids could finally have friends over without being embarrassed and we could all go out together as a family again( as no one would babysit the others) and we got our life back, and at least for us it was "only" for 10 years and that was bad enough....

The Anti-Christ has also arrived.

Now Trump not only invaded Venezuela and kidnapped Maduro(it's interesting too how Maduro was arrested and yet no one from the Epstein List has been yet though...) but now also says USA will "temporarily" (yeah.....riiiiight, I bet......my ass.....) take over the gov't( even though their Constitution states if anything happens to their President that the Vice Prez takes over until they can have a new election) and sell their oil reserves.....which we all know  was the main reason; to steal their oil, the same as it was in Iraq, under the pretense of "weapons of mass destruction".This time their "excuse" was they were going after "Narco terrorists."

Can you just imagine if Putin tried this shit with Ukraine?

Someone seriously has to GET RID  of that maniac and dictator Trump and FAST before he starts WWIII!

I also had kids to create my own people that would at least love me but even that didn't work as even they hate me and want nothing to do with me and even my own dog doesn't love me,either.

I feel like such a loser.

I’d been building little pieces of beauty to stitch myself back together.-Sri.A.