21

Yesterday was a glorious 21 C and Beja and I got to be outside!

Yahoo!!

I also woke up from my afternoon nap with this massive *KILLER* headache (I still have a bit of today,too) that was soooo bad it felt like my head was going to EXPLODE and I was also really dizzy too and my stomach felt sick and I just felt really yucky,restless, and awful I just wanted to sleep and I even slept thru my Heavy Metal show on the radio last night and missed most of it. I thought maybe my BP was either really low or high but it was "just" 140/90 which is high for most people but actually not too bad for me.

Seeing the dark clouds passing over the sun and covering it up also reminds me of my own depression and the dark clouds of depression  envelops me hiding MY light and then they eventually pass by(once I die) and my light shines again once I'm on the Other Side. I've also been having lots of dreams lately about my dead aunt even though she was mean and we didn't get along in real life.

Yesterday was also the last fasting day for Good Friday and all I ate all day was a vegetable dosa, some Indian rice, and this yummy noodle shown above and that's it for another year. I made it!  It will also be our first Easter( tomorrow) without Buddy as last Year Easter was early( the end of March) and he died 7 April but it'll also be our first Easter with Beja. We don't really celebrate holidays much anymore( and certainly not like we used to) now though my mother's gone and the kids have all moved out except for the youngest. It's just not the same anymore now.

My hubby also "doesn't like" the way I do the dishwasher  and says for me NOT to even do it and just let him do it but I also know he doesn't really mean  it because if I don't then he says I'm lazy  and "Don't do enough around here to help out" so no matter WHAT I DO (or don't do) I just can't "win" and it's still my "fault" either way.

Help us someone, let us out of here 'Cause living here so long undisturbed Dreaming of the time we were free So many years ago Before the time when we first heard Welcome to the home by the sea.-Genesis