Apocalyptic.

Yesterday and today with the wildfire smoke it was dark all the time. It looked like night all day. It was just as dark at Noon as it was at 8pm.

The sky looked Apocalyptic.

It also smells really gross, smoky, burnt, acrid, and like a gigantic campfire.

Yesterday it was 28C with a humidex of 34C but you'd never know it as the smoke blocked out the sun and it was breezy so it was actually quite nice out there and a blessed relief from the sweltering heat we've had lately feeling in the 40Cs and we got to be outside for a long time but with the smoke it made my breathing worse and Beja was even cold and snuggled under a blanket.

Toronto was also rated the # 1 worst for air quality in the world  yesterday due to it, even worse than New Delhi! HA!

It was so dark this is how dark it was inside the house at 2pm. It looked like it was nighttime and I was surprised actually that the raccoons and bats didn't come out thinking it was night. The birds and squirrels also have already eaten most of the mulberries off our trees and  kids have only been off for summer vacation for just over 2 weeks now and I already saw a back-to-school ad on TV the other day which I think is just mean, and there's also this show called Surviving Earth  I saw a commercial for and that's what all  of us are just trying to do on a daily basis, just survive Earth.

This was also looking out the window yesterday how dark and hazy it looked outside, and now my hubby says they'll be away Sunday and Monday but before he said Saturday & Sunday but this is actually better as he was supposed to do a BBQ( finally! Yay!) on Saturday....except it's now forecasted to rain & storm( doesn't it figure?) so he'll just have to be out there holding an umbrella,ha,ha, and if it's the second-oldest's friend getting married then why do they even have to go, even to visit, esp. since they just SAW her last month in Vancouver? It just seems so suspicious to me, I don't mind though as I get a nice 2 day break here alone with just Beja. The other day my hubby also took him around the side of the house with him and couldn't find his leash so he just used a luggage strap which I thought was clever and he looked so handsome in his harness.

I also noticed a pea-sized hard bump on my left shin in the middle I wonder if it might be bone cancer,or cancer that's spread to the bone, and I said to Beja, "Ooooh, would you look at that! What a handsome boy!" and the youngest was walking by at the same time and replied, I know I am!  HA!  I also like having secrets that no one knows about except for me, not even my family( or some that just my mother and I had) as it's something just for me that no one else knows about. I've had to keep secrets my whole life so it's just a way of life for me but it's also sort of "comforting" in a way too as it's just become my norm and I like having private parts of my life that just belong to me.

I’m absolutely devastated. He was my everything. My whole life revolved around him and now he’s gone and I’m so lost. So lost.-Kerri Nemo Nebs