Chuckle For Today.

 

Civic Holiday.

It's a long holiday weekend, the second-last of summer (Labour Day is the last long weekend of summer next month) and I think someone just decided to invent a holiday and call it a "Civic holiday" because August is the only month I think that doesn't have a holiday. Yesterday I could hear the cicadas and the crickets and smell clovers and wildflowers and that's what I love best about cottage country in the summer. It's also been so oppressively hot I even have to run the A/C all night lately but this upcoming week we're supposed to get a break and just be in the mid-20C's and they said we were supposed to get between 30-60 mm of rain yesterday( that's alot) and it never even rained! The 29 YR old's boss also told him that he's not obligated  to pay him for the civic holiday off but he's still going to anyway because he's "such a good employee" and he has a good employee and the 29 YR old has a good employer! Last night he also went to a swanky party at the art gallery where he wore a salmon-coloured blazer that the guys from that 80's show Miami Vice  would wear and he also has 2 more upcoming fancy parties,too: a masquerade ball and an "All-White"  charity event which worried me at first I thought was some sort of White supremacist thing, only allowing White people in(and not Black people,etc.) but they just meant that you have to wear only all white.

Whew!!

I also took this photo of a plane flying above our house yesterday and of the 5 most recent kids on my Prayer List the 4th one just died; a 5 year old boy who had DIPG( a brain tumour) and it just breaks my heart so now that just leaves one out of the 5 still left alive,and a week today the 29 YR old's ex-GF in California gets married and it makes me feel sad as I was hoping one day she'd be my daughter-in-law, and it's the Caribbean Carnival and Grand parade today in Toronto as well, the biggest Caribbean carnival in North America, in fact, and people come from all over( some 2 million visitors!) even  all the way from the *Caribbean* to see it, and they always have such beautiful, elaborate costumes,too, although waaay too "skimpy" for my taste, and I'm just glad the Billy Idol concert is next weekend and NOT this weekend with the long weekend and the carnival and parade this weekend and with so many streets blocked off and all the traffic( even worse than usual) I can't even imagine trying to get around Lakeshore Blvd. and downtown this weekend! Ugh! My hubby says *I* have to pay for the 30$ or so parking,too, the cheap-ass bastard.I laugh too remembering one of the biggest things the Jehovah's Witnesses had with me was that I was always too "individual" and that I didn't "conform" and that I had my OWN opinions, incl. about politics which they say you can't; you have to be "neutral" but I just won't keep quiet whenever I see injustice and I have to speak out against it and it was always getting me reprimanded by the elders until I finally just left, tired of being scolded for being me.

To impose uniformity would deny us the rich experience of discovery.-Tessa Lynne

I also found this photo of the original Toronto streetcar (on the right)and the model they put out in the early 80's that I always took to school, and I'm looking forward to going to the CNE (The "Ex") later this month too even though it also signifies the end of summer; it's my yearly pilgrimage and I always look forward to(even though I get so exhausted and my legs and back hurt for an entire WEEK afterwards!) and the highlight of my year and I always feel so free and like the Old Me back in the city again and it's like I come out of my shell and come "alive" again and yesterday I had this blinding headache too that felt like a thunderclap upside the left side of my head and Buddy does nothing but sleep all the time now too and I worry he's dying soon but I just hope the both of us hold off until at least until after the ELO concert next month(after that there's nothing left to look forward to,anyway) and I wonder too with the cysts the scans found years ago on my kidney, ovary, and bladder if they really are cysts afterall or actually tumours they misdiagnosed and I have cancer( which would explain my fatigue, pain and other symptoms and why I've aged so much even in just the past 5 years) and yesterday I felt really restless, agitated, and anxious,too( esp. my legs) like I do before a seizure( although I usually have those during my sleep) so I wonder if one is coming...

Nobody apologized for how they treated me, they just blamed me for how I reacted..

 

Weekend Words.

My only reason for living.

Summer goals.

Esp. with my mother.

The real monsters are human.

I have Mr. Sunflower, The Dancer, The Teacher, The Drug Dealers Next Door, The Man With The Black Dog,....

The only way I could protect my broken heart was to get meaner than the vipers who broke me. Colder than the hearts who were supposed to care for me.-Robin Maria

 

Pondering For The Day.

 

This Is It.

There's really not much going on here lately so this is it. I posted these old blast-from-the-past photos that I really like. This one here is Buddy from 3 summers ago I just love this photo; he's just so beautiful. It's also so hot too the past few days I think my tattoos are melting in the heat and even in the house it's 78 F ( we try to keep it at 70F) even with the A/C running and it's so hot I can't even go outside in the morning(and my medications make me even more likely to get heatstroke), not even at the front where it's usually cooler. I have to stay inside and not go out until the afternoon.The 17 YR old's also sick( fever, barf, and laying on the couch) he picked up from his friend named Edison so I joke he needs Edison's medicine.😂😂

This is also one of my fave. photos of me( and the 21 YR old when she was just a week old) where I actually don't look half-bad(esp. considering I just had a baby!) and it's sad though too to realize how much I've aged in 21 years, mainly due to trauma, stress, and the ravages of a stressful, anxiety-ridden life. Yesterday my doctor called too and left a message( but not what it's for) so I called back right away and they were closed for the day! WTF? Why even call me asking me to call back if they weren't even there? I wonder what it's about though? I hope NOT bugging me to get another mammogram; I had one years ago and it was torture squishing my poor titties in a vice and it hurt so I'm not doing that ever again.

 F*ck it.

 I'll take a chance on cancer instead.

This is also a photo of the 23 YR old(age 3 but she's tiny and still looks like a baby) and I in the pool and I also found out that Platinum Blonde is the opening act for Billy Idol next week and Honeymoon Suite  for ELO next month both of which I like, and actually oddly Canadian bands that don't suck, and this is a long weekend as well(some civic holiday apparantly) I wasn't aware of so both my hubby and the 29 YR old are off Monday and my friend I( from grade 8) celebrated her 37th wedding anniversary yesterday,too, and said she "married her best friend" which is sweet(I married an asshole and my best friend is my dog) and this morning I got up 45 minutes earlier than normal because someone (I won't say who but he's long and sausage-shaped and has short stubby little legs) told me he had to shit(which he did) and I didn't want it on my bedroom floor and my hubby got all mad and bent-out-of-shape I was up early and intruded upon "his time"(now HE knows how *I* feel when he sleeps in late) and he still shit in the bathroom I have my bath even though he knew I was up,too, proving he just does it on purpose just to gross me out, when there's 2 other bathrooms he could have used instead.

Like I said, I married an asshole.

On my tombstone when I go just put Death By Rock & Roll.-The Pretty Reckless

 

Today's Musing.

 

A Day In The Life.

Yesterday was just soooo hot and humid and the air was just so "thick" it was too hot to even go outside(even at the front veranda) in the morning; it was a stay inside with the A/C day and I couldn't even go outside until the afternoon and today it's supposed to go up to 32 C with a humidex of 40C! It's days like this I really miss the pool and wish we could afford to have it open like we used to when the kids were still all here. I also saw a raccoon on our back porch the other night before it was even sunset but it WAS dark due to the rain and yesterday we also got 26 mm of rain with the storm and localized flooding and some people had power and Internet out as well. The squirrels are also back in our kitchen ceiling having chewed thru the wood piece my hubby put over the hole in the roof so he'll have to re-do only this time with an *aluminum* slab. Today is also my Babushka's birthday. She was born in 1912 ( the same year as the Titanic sank which is how I can remember it) but she died when she was 93.

I also have the Billy Idol concert a week tomorrow and I'm sooooo excited and can hardly wait  and I saw on the news last night on the writing they have at the bottom of the screen they spelled BC wrong, as in British Colombia , like the South American country Colombia instead of the proper Columbia (ha,ha) and the RCMP also arrested terrorists in their final stages of an attack on Toronto using axes and machetes (maybe targeting the Caribbean festival this weekend?) and it gave me a nightmare last night as well I was hacked in the back of the head with an axe and in the back of the neck with a machete and I could feel myself "bleeding out" and I knew I was going into shock and dying as I started to feel cold and tired and so I said my final prayers and let myself go to God. Israel also killed Hamas and Hezbollah leaders in Lebanon and Iran,too, but if anyone else ever tried a stunt like that, like say, Iran tried bombing 2-3 other countries like Israel did it would be a completely different story and there would be hell to pay....

Just sayin'....

Remember this? This was the Opening cermonies of the last Olympics 4 years ago.... a "prelude" of the Covid Scamdemic, letting us know what was ahead with the Grim Reaper and all the hospital beds and the vaccine, warning us ahead of time of the tyranny, the clamp-down, lockdowns,etc. and the only reason USA is doing so well at the Olympics now is only because Russia isn't there to compete and to kick their ass and it's NOT hijacking the news reports like it usually does likely because Canada sucks and isn't winning anything, or at least not enough to report, and the women's soccer team was even caught cheating too, sending a drone to spy on a rival team. This shithole really sucks in more ways than one. I wonder as well if the Mandela Effect is also a Psy-Op and just a form of mass brainwashing and indoctrination and a way of planting false memories and having society "re-programmed" to doubt their memories and to question everything they thought, remember and believe in and thought was real? I also wondered too when I was in the LDS church if the others also thought Joseph Smith was a false prophet  and con-man and the Book Of Mormon was a crock of shit like I always did ( but I just over-looked it because I liked other factors like their strong family and moral values) or if they actually really did believe it?

Yesterday I also told my hubby to "surprise" me picking me up food for my snack and I just expected a chicken sammich from Burger King or someplace( I keep it under 10$) but instead he came back with this quesadilla (shown above here) and he said it cost 18$ except he didn't know at the time( why he didn't check the price ahead of time I don't know) and it had pineapple salsa but it wasn't anywhere as good as the other place I liked( and closed up) and wasn't spicy, plus it also had alot of onions(yuck!)and beans( my colon can't tolerate) in it I had to keep picking out(I always get it without those disgusting things) and it was cold,too(I had to heat it up) so I won't be getting that again. As well as my ugly face what I'm also most embarrassed of is the fat rolls of "flubber" (flab and blubber) that loosly hangs on my belly(esp. when I sit down and I try to cover up and hide with my hands )after having all the kids that looks like an apron or a hot water bottle. Even losing weight the skin still just sags and hangs there, all loose and saggy, like saggy-baggy elephant skin and I hate it.

The dark night of the soul will take you to some nightmarish places.-Yasira