Today's Musing.

 

Little Bit.

Not too much happening or going on here lately, so just a little bit to update for today. The 31 YR old got a big bottle of pistachio syrup( pictured here) I have no idea what it would be used for and he said it's to put in his coffee. I suppose it will last a loooong time! I love pistachios, and esp. plain or in baklava. Him and his GF have also been together for over a year now as well, and I was born in the beginning of the year, in January, so I wonder if I will die at the end of the year, in December?

I sure hope so.

I also saw my Angel Bird yesterday and Beja seems to like the snow now! Yesterday he was scratching at it and digging in it and snuffling in it and getting it on his nose and licking it. He's just so cute and so funny and it was entertaining and fun just watching him having fun. It's also -14C this morning and having my bath I also noticed I have this big red  itchy ring the size of a golf ball under my right boob that also has what looks like a small bug bite but I don't think a tick bite as it's not the typical "Bull's Eye" rash, as there's no tell-tale "target" with the dot in the middle but the bite is inside the ring, part of it. It's a big thin red ring and all white in the middle. Maybe some sort of parasite I picked up from Beja from the dog park? Or ringworm, perhaps? I'm always telling the 31 YR old to NOT take him there( and even dog experts have said so) just for regular walks, as  the risk of picking up worms and god-knows what other diseases, plus the risk of him getting attacked by bigger dogs, but no one ever listens to me.

Stop looking at the negatives and start looking for the experiences.-Miss Stripewell

 

Pondering For The Day.

 

Snowman Down!

Here is our updated snowman family. They all light up. Some twinkles and some don't.The other day after that baaaaad wind one of them was knocked over by it and found face-down in the snow It looked like he had been shot and it was just so sad but luckily my hubby had enough pegs to hold him down tight enough so he didn't blow away. Yesterday we had light flurries that sparkled in the sunlight and looked like glitter  and it was almost magical and we had a light dusting overnight and now it's all white and we're supposed to get a few cm today( 6 or so), so it looks and feels more festive for the Christmas season. It's also our first Christmas this year with Beja but also our first without Buddy and my mother. 😭

This is also our multi-coloured Disco ball-style light on the front porch shining down on the wall and the 31 YR old said if and when he gets a spot in the college residence he'll have 5 or 6 roomies and I reminded him that he's there to study and NOT to party (I have visions of an Animal House -style frat house!) esp. with how much he drinks, goes to clubs and parties, and he scoffed I "obviously don't know him very well"....except I DO, and that's what worries me, plus it was when the others went off to school they got ruined by the bad influence! Yesterday Beja also came madly racing around  soaking wet (like a drowned rat!) and ran into the Oodie I have for him on his little bed and kept rolling around in it to try to get dry( it was so funny) so I rubbed him in it like you would with a towel and I thought he'd jumped into the toilet or something at first but it turned out the 31 YR old just gave him a bath. He IS cute though, you have to admit, even if he is a little asshole.

I also realized that I have more people waiting for me on the Other Side than I do here.

I also really wish I had Buddy back.

Some people are not made for friends. They can't stand other people and other people can't stand them.-cdds

 

Truth For Today.

 

Disillusioned.

I'm just so disillusioned with life.

Last night only made it worse.

As I kissed Beja goodnight he bit  me on the lip( he's never done that before!) and it wasn't a playful nip,either, because his snout was all "scrunched up" like he was mad.

I was just so hurt, and emotionally more so than physically.

I can't believe that he did that. 😭

I also had insomnia last night and couldn't fall asleep until 1 am and only got 4 hours sleep so I feel like a zombie today and my hubby goes, That sounds like a YOU problem! and I told him, Well, who else's problem would it be? 

It's sad as well to realize that when I die no one will even miss me, and Buddy was the only joy in my life and he's just a memory now, and now the only happiness I get is memories of the past.

I also heard Stairway To Heaven again yesterday and my abdomenal pain is still sooooooooo baaaaaaad I just want to scream and it really rained later in the day yesterday and now most of the snow is sadly gone but we'll get more, and Advent starts incl. the Advent calendar so at least I have a chocolate each day to look forward to  for a month and the radio station is also playing Christmas music to bring a little cheer into my miserable dreary life.

I also like this century-old vanity, and the oldest finally almost has his university student loan paid off( he's 36) and the 31 YR old brags his college test scores are "so ridiculously high" he can take any course he wants, even a doctor, even though it's only the nursing course that the gov't pays for, which I think is going a bit too far(he's soooo arrogant!), and you have to go to university for that,anyway, not college, and he tried to start up a chess club at the local library as well but no one was interested; I guess none of the dumb rednecks in this hick-ass town even know how to play chess but maybe they have a chess club at the college and if not maybe he can start one up? He also forgot to cover up the car windshield before it snowed like my hubby asked him to and when my hubby was brushing the snow off he twisted his leg the "wrong" way and hurt it even more and he screamed so loud when he came back in the house Beja even ran over to see what the fuss was all about!

Yesterday the 31 YR old was also sitting in the recliner chair with Beja talking to his GF on his phone and I was on the couch and I just happened to look over at Beja on his lap and the way the phone was at an angle I could see his GF....and she flashed him her boobs! Jaysus, I got a free show! I really wasn't expecting that! I still do that to my hubby,too, although not when anyone else might see it! HA! There's also this guy in Turkiye that always messages me on Facebook every time I go on and he puts lips/kisses on my photos and it's really creepy and I never reply(I don't "do" messages/ live chats) but it's the weirdest thing!

Those dear souls who choose to leave this life prematurely are given every help that is available in heaven for however long is needed. The lessons still remain and therefore they will have a chance to complete them in heaven.-Ronald Danks

 

Monday Memes.

Feeling unwanted changes you a lot, tbh.-Rumi

Life is for the blessed and I'm not in that club.-Rudolph Johnson

My story is a tragedy.

No one and nowhere feels like home anymore.

She knows love can heal even the most broken soul. She knows one day, those guarded eyes will soften, and that heavy chest will rise in peace.-DogLovers03