Today's Thought.

Majestic Creatures.

Today's Truth.

New Car?

So, with any luck and if everything goes well and works out OK this could end up being our new car tomorrow! My hubby called and said it looks like this could end up being the one, he just has to check with insurance today and if everything goes well he should be able to pick it up tomorrow! It's a nice black one(although my preference would have been a metallic lilac purple but those are really hard to find and there's no way he'd get one of those even though it would  also make it really easy to find in a crowded parking lot,too) and as long as it has A/C that's all I really care about. He kept going on and on about all these other features it has too, most of which I have no idea what it even means( such as Bluetooth, what the hell even is that,anyway? It makes me think of some kind of Sabre-tooth tiger or something,actually) and heated seats( which will be handy in winter, I must say) etc. but as long as it's a safe, reliable and affordable that's what really matters and at least it's not some hideous colour but I heard that the Corolla is also the most popular car in this country which also means there will be hundreds of them in the parking lots making it even harder to find ours(plus I assume it will probably also have a different license plate too we won't recognize either) and likely also the most commonly stolen cars targeted by car thieves as well. Shit.

I also saw a drug transaction at the corner yesterday while I was out walking Buddy and they saw me looking at them too and were extra cautious too but they need not worry; I looked away and let them do their thing; I mind my own business and don't report anyone or cause trouble for people. It's none of my business.I can't believe I'll be in Jamaica in just 9 more days either and it still doesn't seem or feel real and I haven't even started packing yet so I guess I probably should, probably this weekend.

Pondering For The Day.

The Lighter.

You're not going to believe this, but after literally years of looking for a Bob Marley lighter for my weed I finally actually found one, when I wasn't even looking, when I least expected it, and when I'd actually forgotten about it and given up hope( isn't that usually the way? Maybe it'll be the same for finding happiness and love in life for me,too....ha ha...yeah....right...) I went to the corner variety store just up the end of my street to get some rolling papers to bring with me to Jamaica( 10 days today I go!) and lo and behold

There it was.

A Bob Marley lighter.

I couldn't believe my eyes. Of course I had to buy it, but of course once I brought it home and tried it, it doesn't work.

I got the dud. The reject. The broken one. The defective one. The one that doesn't work.

Just like always.

I'm a jinx.

All it does is makes a spark but no flame, and I know I'm still a relative novice at this Cannabis Culture thing( only 4 years into it now) but I know a lighter is supposed to produce a flame and not just a spark. It figures but at least I still have it as a souvenir of sorts. It reminds me of one of my first Bob Marley T-shirts I ever got: I looked everywhere for it, all over the Caribbean even and never found one and I ended up finding it at....yup....you guessed it....at the corner store up my street.

It made me feel like I was doing that Adulting thing too going in the buying the rolling papers, and kind of nervous like when you buy your first pack of cigarettes or bong or first pack of tampons, sort of like you're an imposter of a sort, like you're a little kid trying to pass yourself off as a grown-up or something. I don't know; it's weird, it just makes me feel nervous for some reason but once I did it I feel like I've completed an adult task./ It's just so weird. It must be either my Asperger's or my Social Phobia. I also saw somewhere that birds sitting up on a wire get a vibration 10 times stronger than a human orgasm,too, and my first thought was, Wow! No wonder there's always so many of them always sitting up there!!

My hubby called as well and said now he might not be back until Saturday or maybe evev Sunday night as he has no car, extending my break with him not here casing me constant stress, tension,and anxiety( and what's the best way for me to celebrate, let go and just relax? Have a nice long hot bath, sit outside with Buddy beside me, feeling the sun on my face, read a good book, listen to music and smoke a Big Fatty) but making it difficult without transportation, esp. for things like grocery shopping and he made some referral to the husband and father who goes out to the store to buy cigarettes and never returns and the thought occurred to me if that's maybe what he's even done? Has he left the family? If so the possibility fills me with mixed feelings; relieved and glad at the thought of much less hostility and stress but anxiety too as it would be a big change although I also know that we'd adapt and there's always taxis for anything local in town, and I'd either have to just wean off my medications (without his employee coverage from work to cover 80% of the cost) or go on Disability, but God knows what's best and has a plan for us either way and will see us thru it just like He always has.

Wordless Wednesday.