Musing For The Day.

 

Just F*ck It.

Yesterday and today I have really baaaad pain on my right side in the middle it even kept waking me up during the night ( so you know it's bad) and I'm nauseated from the pain and it's that white-hot pain that makes you gasp and wince. It feels alot like my gallbladder pain except I know it's not that since I had it removed 13 years ago. It could be my appendix(or something with my bile duct or liver, or twisted colon, maybe,too?) based on location except that usually happens earlier in life but I suppose it can konk out at any age. I still also have the really baaaad abdomenal and back pain and I'm really sweaty,too. yesterday both  the 24 YR old in BC and  the 26 YR old in Ottawa had to go to the ER as well; my hubby telling me they both "had accidents" and of course my worried Mother Heart was afraid it was something really bad like a car accident or something but luckily turned out just to be minor: The 24 YR old cut her finger cutting a client's hair( she's a hairdresser) and got stitches(I hope she didn't bleed all over the customer!) and the 26 YR old stubbed her toe and broke it, hardly a need for the ER since they can't do anything for broken toes anyway but tape it, and when I broke my toe and finger  before I just taped it and splinted it myself; I wasn't going to sit and wait some 6 HRS-plus just for that!

Yesterday right after I'd done 2 loads of laundry( due to all the 30 YR old's crap) incl. the 30 YR old's bedsheets Beja peed on his bed and he snarled at me, TRAIN him!!! (which I AM, but it takes time and nothing I do is ever enough) and I replied, Keep your door closed!  and he doesn't pee on my bed or on anyone else's and my hubby said it's likely he's just "marking his territory" since his GF's dog hangs out in his room and the scent is still there which makes sense. He also took my barber scissors without asking and just left them out without putting them back and the other day once again he went outside and left the front door wide open and Beja followed him and ran out onto the porch but luckily I saw and he came back when I called him  but it's dangerous  and he could have run off onto the street and got lost or hit by a car!What if it was when I was in the bathroom at the time or something?

Beja also ate a fly yesterday as well( yeeeech!) and the youngest left the basement door open and he went down where there are sharp, poisonous and dangerous things down there and I don't know why it seems so hard  for everyone except me to remember to just close the f*cking doors and to make an effort to keep him safe, and this morning just as I was to have my bath my hubby did a shit in that toilet again, even though we DO have 2 others  he can use, excusing they're "dirty" (so I told him if it bothers him that much he can feel free to clean them) and then he just left  the empty toilet paper roll too and didn't even replace it for the next guy and his excuse was "I was going to replace it the next time I  go to the bathroom" as always just thinking about himself  and NOT being considerate. It's reasons like this why I'm so glad when he goes away for a few days and I get a break! It's also been exactly 6 months today my mother died and now the Orange Shitgibbon Trump says he "might" bomb Iran again if they still have nuclear capabilities....after calling for peace, and he also called off all trade talks with Canada and is talking even more tariffs,too...that dumb motherf*cker doesn't know what  the f*ck he's doing!!

Something inside that was always denied for so many years.-The Beatles

 

Today's Thought.

 

The Stupid Fence.

I noticed later yesterday part of our stupid fence in the backyard at the side had collapased and fallen to the ground( shown here) so I don't know if some kid walking by from school kicked it down to be "funny" or if it just fell over with the wind or just finally died being the piece of shit that it is. My hubby then put the temporary construction fence around the bare area so stray dogs won't wander in our yard off the street. I sure hope Tony The Fence really  comes by to fix it now  and my hubby said this part wasn't even the original broken part,either, but it was the part next to it, so now it's going to cost even more $$$ to fix it!

F*ck.

Doesn't it just figure?

Even more expenses we can't afford.

Everything we have is a piece of crap and old and falling apart but we just don't have the $$$ for repairs.

Yesterday it was also a nice cool breezy cloudy 19 C (a nice break from the oppressive heat) so we were able to be outside for most of the day(until it started to rain) and I even had my bedroom window open during the night,too. Tonight we might even have a really biiiig storm,too.

The other day the youngest also forgot to put the garbage and recycling out for pick-up(it's his chore) and I woke up at 2 am to go pee and I always peek out the window when I do to see if it's raining and noticed it wasn't put out still so I "paged" him thru the Google Home device(as he stays up really late) to remind him and then when I got up at 6 am saw it was done otherwise I'd have to wake him up early to get up and do it( which he hates) as they pick up recycling from 7 am. My cough is also alot worse lately as well and so bad I choke and almost puke and I still have the baaaad abdomenal pain and reallly sore back,too. I'm also really sweaty(even if it's not hot) and yesterday I even had sharp chest pain that came and went, likely still my broken heart from losing Buddy. I heard Stairway To Heaven on the radio yesterday again as well. I also kept putting dishwasher detergent pods on the shopping list and my hubby kept taking them off yet never got the pods and we're running seriously low(this happened 4 times or so) so I finally asked him and he said we already have 2 new packs of them he got earlier on sale so that's why!

Beja also used to have this exctra thick, extra long and extra soft( it felt like feathers) fur on one side of his neck I loved but noticed now it's gone and "thinned out" and realized it was the end of his Puppy Coat( and that's probably why he's shedding so much white fur and I see it all over my clothes!) proving once again my theory must be right and he really still IS a puppy like I suspected, but I also wonder why  the breeder lied to me and told me he was a year old though? What was the purpose of that,anyway? Yesterday I also cooked Masala dosa balls for the 18 YR old and I (but not for my hubby as I knew it would be too spicy for him) and my hubby had the nerve to just take one off the youngest's plate(I replaced it with one of mine) and eat it(now I know where the 30 YR old "gets" it from ; stealing  other people's food without asking).....and he tried to show-off saying it wasn't so hot and I told him, You have to wait for it to kick in....and then he went all red and gasped and ran for the milk which he drank right out of the container(the Neanderthal!) ha,ha! Today is also the last day of school for kids before summer vacation starts and I think dying feels like graduating highschool as well: you feel like you've been set free.

I realize that nothing's as it seems.-Sting

 

Weekend Words.

So I look back upon my life Forever with a sense of shame I've always been the one to blame For everything I long to do.-Pet Shop Boys

Rescue me or put me out of my misery.

You're never gonna be alone From this moment on If you ever feel like letting go I won't let you fall When all hope is gone I know that you can carry on We're gonna take the world on I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.-Nickelback