Last Day Of Summer.

Today is the official last day of summer( waah!) and tomorrow starts fall yet this week is supposed to still be nice sort-of summer weather, in the 20 C range, and I'm still out there in the backyard suntanning although it is cold in the mornings now though and this morning it was 2 C and I even had to put my heater on in my bedroom at 4 am! It looks like fall now too with the coloured falling leaves but I still refuse to let go and give up summer, my fave. season and wear my flip-flops as long as I possibly can, still desperately holding on refusing to let go and even though I do like the pretty leaves of fall and everything pumpkin spice I do NOT like all the rain that also comes with it, the cooler weather or Satan's Day at the end of October and all the hype that goes along with it, promoting and glorifying the occult  but hopefully this year due to the "pandemic" and panic it will be cancelled, esp. considering going around from house-to-house is one of the best ways to spread infection if that's what they're really concerned about, and they've cancelled everything good this year( such as all summer events) so they should cancel something evil,too.

Yesterday I also felt like the Elephant Man(John Merrik) shown here, only at the back of my head. Something happened to my head yesterday afternoon, only I'm not sure exactly what; I think and assume it must have been a wasp that stung me but I never saw anything; I'm just going by how it felt. I was laying my head back in my reclining lounge chair outside on the back porch getting sun when I suddenly felt this sharp jolting pain at the back of my head; it was an intense stinging, burning, electric pain that felt like I was being stabbed thru the back of the head with a sharp piece of glass so I assumed it was a wasp, maybe it was on my chair or on the nearby vines and stung me although I never actually saw it and when I looked at my head in the mirror I never saw any sting mark or redness, and it hurt, it wasn't itchy and as the day went on the hurt got worse, really bad, and it felt just like that time when I passed out and hit my head hard on the floor as I fell and this morning it is itchy and I also have this weird headache too  where my head feels "floaty" and light-headed and the pain goes down my neck.....making me wonder if it might not be a wasp sting afterall but something internally, like a blood vessel or something ruptured, and then, of course, my mind also goes racing with it's weird thoughts such as What if it's a wasp and it stung into my brain? or What if it laid eggs in there? Whatever it was it sure did a job on my poor head and if I die( wouldn't it be kind of "cool" to die on the last day of summer? Sort of poetic in a way) I guess it was something internal afterall, like maybe a mini stroke or something, or a warning to something....

The 13 YR old also kept teasing Buddy and I told him to stop and Buddy was barking at him too( his way of warning him) and he still kept going on and so the barking intensified and I warned him if he didn't stop I'd turn off his video game....but he went on and on, and then he had the nerve to get all up in Buddy's face and scream at him to shut-up and stop barking....so I turned off his game.... and he freaked out, screaming, throwing things( incl. the TV remote and the batteries went flying out) stomping off  yelling he was going to kill Buddy and told me to kill yourself! etc. That kid is sooo out of control and I'm the only one who ever tries to discipline him and tell him "no" as he's my mother's precious pampered little prince and my hubby never "Man's up" and disciplines his kids; he's too busy being their "friend" than being their parent and they blame it on me (for having the "nerve" to not let him get away with being such a brat) instead of him for being so bad or themselves for allowing it, and my hubby said the solution is to Get rid of the dog! WTF? Buddy isn't the problem; the 13 YR old is! He's the one always being mean, defiant, destructive, disturbing, oppositional, etc.It's clear that he has a real problem but they refuse to see it and bawl me out whenever I mention it.

I also noticed when Buddy sneezed he left blood on my bedsheets which is an indication of a nasal tumour, just as I'd suspected, and there's a new cannabis store in town, sanctioned by the gov't so it's perfectly legal and I heard they have edibles too ( which can be hard to find and my medical supplier doesn't have them) so I'm like a kid in a candy store but my hubby scoffed, I'm NOT taking you to your druggie store!  and I reminded him that for me it's medicine and it would just be like taking me to the pharmacyas I have a medical prescription  for medical marijuana but he just scoffs that I use it as an excuse to get high but he has no idea what it's like to BE in chronic daily pain and the weed has eliminated my daily migraines and I haven't had one in 6 years due to it and it lifts off my pain due to RA and my severe abdomenal and back pain; he should just be grateful that he doesn't suffer like I do and not be so judgemental and such an asshole and then he snarled I'm Just like a teenager and he's Seen what weed's done to my brain and it's not pretty.... except my forgetfulness etc. isn't even because of the weed; it's due to my White Matter Decline which an MRI diagnosed some 2 YRS before  I even started  smoking weed so it has nothing to even do with that; he just likes to blame it. It really hurts me too the cruel, condescending demeaning, disrespectful, belittling way he and the rest of my family treats me. The biggest mitake I ever made in my life was marrying him and having kids because it ruined my life and made me so miserable.

Goodbye summer. Adieu. I love you. I'll miss you. For some reason I think this will end up being my last summer,too.  Farewell.