Annoying.

Today I was in the kitchen looking for lunch when the 14 YR old rudely told me to Shut up and stop talking! and I told him to watch his mouth, and that he's not the "boss" and can't tell me to shut up and Who do you think you are? and then both my mother and hubby agreed with him and said that I aggravate and provoke him and that I talk too much, talk just to hear myself talk, am annoying, etc. so once again, as always, it's somehow my fault, and then he even hit me on my back as he walked by and,of course, they said nothing, because, you know, it's just me and no one cares. My hubby told me to just stop talking and problem solved and he leaves, and I told my mother that I'm tired of always being abused and bullied and told what to do and being treated like I'm 2 years old and she said Well, you act like it!(again, putting the blame on to me) and then she said if I want things to get better that I have to 'behave' and do what I'm 'told'. She also said she's Tired of my complaining, so they're allowed to always "rag" on me but I'm NOT allowed to get upset or complain about it because then I'm "annoying?" The 14 YR old also threatened to "punch me in the face" and if he ever pulls a knife on me again like he did before I'm going to call the police on him just like my cousin and friends told me I should do and have him removed from the home. Before I would have hesitated, not wanting Child Welfare(they are bad news) to get involved but now I have nothing to lose since he's the only kid left at home now anyway and I don't care anymore; I'm done  with him and all his shit,and if they take him maybe it's better for everyone.

Can you believe it? I'm 55 years old and if I want to talk or sing then I'll talk or sing! I'm a full-grown adult and I don't need their "permission" to talk or to sing or to do or say anything in my own home or anywhere else,and I certainly don't need the 14 YR old's,and he's one of the kids  and I'm one of the adults yet I still have no voice, no say, no authority, no control, etc. in my own home, or in my own life. I feel like a prisoner, a hostage,and if it weren't for my Aspergers and bipolar and needing help with things such as paying bills and doing taxes I would have moved out on my own a long time ago. I think talking alot also has to do with my Aspergers and I can also remember back in school as a kid always getting into trouble too for talking. I finally told her about my most recent suicide attempt as well just to let her know that I can't keep living like this , adding I didn't mention it before because they wouldn't care anyway,and she just coldly shrugged, That's nothing new; you do this all the time, but no concern, nothing. At least once I'm finally dead and gone everyone will get what they want( since I'm the problem  once I'm gone then the problem will be eliminated and solved) and will be happy.

Everywhere I go I just seem to make people angry.

It must be a gift.