Inside Autism.

I got this off Quora:

Sabrina Wharton-Brown

Updated 2y

What should you never do to a person who is autistic?

Disclaimer: I’m not officially diagnosed, but strongly suspected of being Aspergic. These are based on my experiences.

1. Don’t tell us off for being blunt.
2. Don’t take offence when we are (we can’t help it, don’t mean to be, and don’t mean it anyway).
3. Don’t call us nosey or make us feel like outsiders when we ask questions. It’s very hurtful and makes us more introverted.
4. Don’t think that when we decline an invitation that we’re declining you. We need time to be alone and out of over-stimulating environments because they’re exhausting. We still love you.
5. Don’t treat us like idiots because we don’t pick things up straight away, or even after several attempts. Patience is greatly appreciated.
6. Essentially, Don’t be a D*ck.
7. Please don’t make us do people-activities unless we’ve expressed that we’d like to. We’ll people at our own pace. Sometimes we have to (like at work) and while that may be helpful for us in the long-run, it can also be very emotionally draining.
8. Edited to Add: Don’t expect us to know something you want us to do unless you explicitly tell us.
9. Edited to Add: Don’t expect us to know the same social rules you do. Your rules don’t make any sense to us, or they aren’t obvious. I wish they were. It’d save a lot of trouble.

I’ll add a couple of Do’s.

1. Do listen to us and communicate clearly and unjudgingly. You might teach us an important life lesson, but we’ll just reject it out of self-protecting pride if you’re being cross or insulting about it.
2. Do let us know verbally that we’re important to you and that you actually like us; it’s hard to tell and we might just assume you’re being sociable.
3. Do invite us out if you think we’d enjoy the event/activity.
4. It’s also really nice that if you do share our interests, you talk with us about them sometimes. It makes us feel connected and positive.
5. Do be positive about any traits/characteristics we have that you like. Just like anyone else, we like to be appreciated.
6. Edited to Add: Do be patient. We might be slower at some things than you’d like. We can’t help it.
7. Edited to Add: Do listen to us if we’re telling you a different way to do something. We might actually be right.