The entire idea that those of us labeled “high functioning” are childlike in nature is one of the many challenges we have to fight through in adulthood. Most of us are no more “childlike” than anyone else our chronological age, we just don’t see fit to hide our continued love of things like video games, animation, comic books, or toy collecting like our neurotypical peers do. We are unashamed of the things that bring us joy…which is actually a sign of maturity, not immaturity.
The problem comes from neurotypicals, who are obsessed with the outward performance of “proper adulthood” dismissing, criticizing, belittling, and underestimating us because we don’t try to emphasize our “grown-ness” on the outside by putting away anything colorful and fun in a little box in the attic and covering ourselves and our living spaces with the bland, flat, gray, drab, and lifeless trappings of outward maturity in a desperate attempt to properly perform our age for others. Still collecting dolls or action figures or other toys well into your adult years and proudly displaying them in your living space does not mean you aren’t capable of holding down an adult job with adult responsibilities. Preferring cartoons over the reality shows and overwrought live action dramas made for adults doesn’t mean you can’t also hold an intelligent conversation about politics or economics. Having shelves and shelves full of manga instead of romance novels or thrillers doesn’t mean you aren’t mature enough to pay your bills on time and maintain an apartment. Having your idea of a romantic date being pizza and gaming on the couch with your significant other until 4 in the morning doesn’t mean that you’re not capable of having a meaningful adult romantic relationship.
It’s not that autistic adults are “childlike,” it’s that neurotypical adults are so obsessed with looking “grown” on the outside that they are willing to suppress their true identities and feelings to maintain the act. I mean, do you really think anyone actually likes minimalist furnishings with flat colors, clean lines, and the odd (probably fake) plant or wicker thingie as an accent piece for home decor? Heck no! They just go with it because that’s what they’re told a grown person’s living space is supposed to look like!! Do you think anyone really wanted to box up or throw away their childhood toys? Heck no! They did it because they were forced to in order to look more grown up, not because they actually wanted to!!
Maturity in our society is judged largely by outward cues like fashion choices, home decorating preferences, and personal hobbies, not by a person’s actual actions, attitudes, or morals. I’ve seen more neurotypical “adults” being childlike in terms of selfishness, pettiness, cliquishness, warped priorities, trying to look good for others regardless of the damage they do to themselves and the ones closest to them, and obsession with their own personal social status to a degree that is highly destructive to either themselves or others than I can count. I see them everywhere, from my personal life, to the professional world, to the political world: outwardly grown-looking people who act like spoiled little kids with no adults to punish or correct them for misbehaving. But I’m childlike for still cherishing my Barbies, or collecting MLP’s and Cave Club dolls, or preferring to sleep on a bed full of stuffed animals, even though I’ve matured past those infantile thought patterns and behaviors exhibited by so many of my neurotypical peers and elders? That’s pretty messed up.
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