Yes it is, on the surface.
My oldest son was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome at age 12 years.
When he was a little guy, he was very rebellious and combative about such strange things, at least, what was strange to the rest of the family.
We saw it as rebellion.
It wasn’t.
He clearly was experiencing real, physical pain by smelling food, hearing people chewing, feeling fabric against his skin, and being exposed to bright lights at the dinner table.
In hindsight, my sweet son was experiencing the very same symptoms I had with vestibular migraines.
I did not understand.
None of us did.
His brain was being traumatized.
What he endured was truly painful: physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.
Jesse had tons of empathy, but he had no clue how to express it, outside of his meltdowns, and the aftermath of these episodes.
I will always remember dragging him down the hallway to the shower at age 12.
Jesse refused to bathe for weeks on end.
Once we got to the bathroom, he kicked me in the stomach, and punched me in the shoulder, HARD.
It dropped me to my knees, in tears.
My sweet son fell to the floor, at my feet, in the fetal position, and tearfully told me over and over again that he was sorry, that he never meant to hurt me.
His tears would not stop.
I sat up on the toilet, and pulled him into my arms.
He was rigid.
I told him point blank that nothing he ever did or said would ever keep me from loving him.
He wrapped his arms around me, and that is the last time he ever did this.
That sweet boy died on February 8th, 2016, at 16 years of age.
Drug overdose, Fentanyl, given to him by his gf, who also was diagnosed with Asperger’s.
I did not understand Jesse’s world.
I tried to force him to conform, to be a round peg in a square world.
I so regret this, but I did not know better.
Jesse’s mistrust was not misplaced.
He was different, and misunderstood, even by his own family.
His empathy knew no bounds, but you’d never know it in his presence.
His BFF was devastated by his death, and to this day, will never be the same.
In my experience, their mistrust is valid, and their empathy misunderstood.
They do not belong to this world.
They are far more valuable than the average human can ever comprehend.
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