Buddy Update.

Buddy can now walk very slowly but only for a short while and then he tires out and starts tilting his head to the right and starts tipping his entire body to the right side(so the stroke has left some damage) and he also has this "spaced-out" look, and he also keeps looking up straight ahead at something that only he can see and it's like he's in an "altered" state of consciousness,in-between conscious and semi-conscious(he's not the same as he was before), as if hovering between "dimensions" as he makes his "transition" from this world to the next, yet still aware and resonsive at the same time and he still knows I love him and rubs his face against my hand and always wants to be right close next to me and cuddle and I spent most of the day yesterday just holding,cuddling,and petting him, letting him know I was there and that I love him, enjoying what time we still have left, every little bit I am grateful for. People tell me I'm blessed we've 

 had as much time together as we have and I know it's true but I'll still  never  be able to let him go and the hardest thing about love is there's so much to lose.

Yesterday during nap he also peed in my bed and wasn't even aware of it, but I still have pee pads left from my mother so now I just put them wherever he is; in our bed, in his little beds and cushions, and on the couch, and the 29 YR old taunts he "looks like a retard" now and calls him a "cute little retard" I think is mean and I tell him, "He's NOT a retard! He just had a stroke but YOU are an asshole! He probably trips blind people and pushes people in wheelchairs down stairs,too.He also never ate at all yesterday but is still drinking and tried to barf a couple of times too but there was nothing there, and now our days feel like an hourglass, with time quickly running out and it's also a reminder that time is short and life is precious.

Yesterday the 16 YR old also ate my last Paczki donut even though my name was on it( what do I have to do to stop them from stealing my shit? Put a chain on it or lock it away in a safe, or what?) and yesterday we just got a new jar of salsa as well I'd planned on having with nachos and the 29 YR old already ate half the jar for just one snack even though he has a job and buys his own food he still eats all of ours! It's not like they're starving,either, as we spend over 600$ a week on groceries!  I also heard Ed Broadbent (former NDP leader) died( he was 87) and he was actually one of the Good Guys and we're supposed to get another snowstorm later today with 8-18 cm and more over the weekend as well, and this morning I also soaked and luxuriated in a nice lavender bath-bomb bath, and a thought also occured: since the Christ came from Israel it's not too far of a stretch to assume that the Anti-Christ might also appear from the same region and Netanyahu is from Israel.....just sayin'...

Autism is like living life on hard mode and watching everyone around you breeze through as if nothing's wrong.-Yvette Renshy