Doug The Dachshund arrived yesterday! When I saw the package that said DHL on it I knew it was that, because that's the international courier and I'd ordered it from the UK! It only took 2 weeks and I just love it! It now sits on a shelf in my room. The 29 YR old re-named it Dougshund. It's bigger than I thought which is a nice switch; usually things are way smaller than they look. Today we're supposed to get a real motherf*cker of a storm as well( so it's actually a good thing the 29 YR old's client cancelled and he doesn't have to go in to Toronto today; the driving would be a mess) and they already cancelled ALL of the school buses all across the board ahead of time this morning anticipating it: starting this afternoon we're to be getting a combination of a thunderstorm with 80 km winds, 30 mm rain and then ice pellets and 10-15 cm of snow as the temp goes from milder and then dropping down lower. Right now it's 2 C.
I also came across this old photo of some of the girls and it's one of my faves. I think it was from 2008. They're all in their 20's now. At one time it occupies my entire life but now it's just a memory from the past.At least the good thing about the kids wanting nothing to do with me now is when I die they won't miss me or be sad. Yesterday was also my hubby's first day back at work after the holidays and he already said he wants to quit and retire and just play chess and pickleball all the time even though we really need the income(esp. now my mother's LTC home costs 2K a month plus we still have all our other bills to pay,too) and he said again about selling the house and down-sizing and moving into an apt, saying selling the house would pay 20 years of rent....except I refuse to move( this is my home!!) and go backwards from home ownership to renting or move into a shitty apt; there's zero privacy,it's noisy and you hear your neighbours from all sides and I won't be able to have my dog or my backyard( which is my private sanctuary and escape and where my dog can freely run)either, and where would I be able to suntan topless and smoke weed? My hubby says to just go to the park but it's not the same.He complains about cutting grass and shovelling snow too even though he doesn't even do it and always has the kids do it.
I would have no enjoyment in life left at all.
Everything I enjoy in life would be taken away.
I'd rather die than be forced out of my home and into an apt.
I also found this, another sweater I like but will never order because I know what I order and what I receive will be completely different things and I'd end up getting ripped-off, and when we visited my mother it made me sad as well when I told her my cousin is going to Japan and she didn't even remember who she was. Previously she had always been asking me how she was,for updates, and what she was doing and for updates and now she had to ask me who she was because she couldn't remember. It was funny as well: my hubby said he saw her sitting in the dining room when we arrived to visit...only she was actually in her room; it was someone else, another old lady and now I understand what Black and Chinese people mean when they say that "White people all look the same".
Old people all look alike.
You can't tell them apart.
It's sad as well and makes me feel sort of uneasy every time I go visit her , being old and feeble and living in LTC, I never know if each visit will end up being our last.
There’s a limit to how many betrayals we can deal with before one of them finally snaps the tether, and makes us decidedly emotionally hardened, fearless, and determined to, for the first time in our lives, start advocating for, respecting, and loving ourselves.-Jason Hetrick
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