“It will never be the same again.”
My friend Sarah’s life had turned into one single mantra which controlled her every thought. Nobody knew when it had begun. But it must have been there for a while, somewhere.
In some sense it was weird: she was in a good long-lasting relationship, had many very good friends and a warm social life, had a high-end job, and she was also a celebrated gymnastics teacher.
Sarah was also too perfectionistic, and I think at some point she stumbled upon her own limits, and then something cracked. It reminds me of cycling. Sometimes one can push one’s boundaries and follow a high tempo in a group of cyclists, but once there is a gap of even a couple of meters, the distance quickly increases and you are left behind.
And Sarah was left behind by her own self.
Although she could get all the possible help and support she needed, she decided all by herself at some point that she could and would not be treated, because “it would never be the same again.” So she acted as if she was getting better, and as if she was taking her special pills — which she wasn’t.
We met her several times on parties in that period, and something was clearly going on — she basically stopped interacting with her friends, and her silence was telling more than any sentence ever would. (Except the mantra, of course.)
As if she wasn’t there anymore. As if she was seeing things we could not see.
One day, when her boyfriend was at work, Sarah took the rope that she had been hiding in a cupboard, and hanged herself. She was barely thirty. Her mantra had finally acquired flesh, and become the undeniable truth.
“How long can untreated depression last ?”
In Sarah’s case, it lasted about two months.
And then it was gone.
I found this on Quora.
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