Wasted.

This was Buddy for a few hours yesterday, just laying there in a stupor, with his eyes glazed over and tongue hanging out and I thought maybe he was having another medical episode again....until I realized that he was just tripping out; he was just wasted! After he woke up from his nap he suddenly gave a loud yelp in pain and was shivering (a sign a dog is in pain) so I gave him some CBD oil.....only I forgot that I had just given him some liquid children's Tylenol not too long before for his arthritis( he was limping really bad)....so I guess it was too close togehter and combined and he sort of "overdosed" and he was just high! HA! My poor dog was just stoned out of his mind! At least he was no longer in pain though(and when I'd pet him I could see his pupils dilate in pleasure,too) and after 2-3 hours or so it passed and he was back to his usual self again! Ooops! After bleeding and clots from my ass 2 days ago I also haven't had any more (although I still have the stomach, abdomenal,and back pain) so it must have just  been my diverticulitis flaring-up again like I suspected was most likely and it's raining again today too and getting more freezing rain later, and 3 days this week the school buses were cancelled as well but it's just public school so they won't miss anything,anyway.

It also always makes me laugh in music seeing ritard even though it just means "slow",  to slow tempo, but it makes me think of retard but when you really think about it "retard" does also mean "slow" in a way,too, and even though my body is old my mind will still always be young and twisted, and the gov't is now drastically limiting the number of international students as well due to housing shortages but they make up some 60% of college students though( and they have to also pay 3 times more than domestic students,too, so they get ripped-off and over-charged and exploited) and someone even said the colleges here are nothing more than "puppy mills" which made me laugh, mostly because it's true, and it's when my kids moved out and went to college and university that they were lost to the world and  turned away from God and from me and at least when I die they won't be sad or miss me because they live now as if I'm already dead,anyway.

I also wonder when the world will finally realize that Israel's plan all along in Gaza is to kill as many Palestinians as possible and make Gaza as unhabitable as possible for them so the rest flee so that Israeli settlers can move in and take over, and The Hague is supposed to have their verdict today on their genocide case, I hope they find them guilty, although they are skilled at getting away with shit as they cry "anti-Semitism!" at any criticism, and there will never be world peace as long as Netanyahu is in office or if Trump is re-elected, and I used to think that the Old Me, the little girl that once was was hiding away all these years, even though she didn't do anything wrong and had no reason to hide, that it was the world that was bad, not her, but then realized that she wasn't hiding; she was just waiting; waiting for it to be safe again and could re-emerge when she could be happy again.

The things that matter to me most seem to always leave me. If there really is an afterlife, I hope it’s better than this one.-Chevy The Golden