Today's Thought.

 

Diverticulitis And A Bad Bagel.

I was woken up at 4 am during the night last night with agonizing stomach and abdomenal pain(and I still have it now, plus now I also feel nauseated,too) and it's sooooo bad it has to be something more than just my diverticulitis and that bad bagel I ate the other day! The pain is so bad I even break out into a sweat and rock from the pain and even come close to passing out. It's similar to the worst constipation pain you can imagine only it's not that because I did a shit OK and I still have the pain. Maybe I do have cancer? Yesterday my hubby also finally got the donuts I've been asking for for days but he only got 6 so they were scooped up in mere seconds and he also got the Smile cookies (seen here) at Tim Hortons too where the proceeds go to charity( the 29 YR old just calls a business/tax write-off) and they went quickly,too.

 It was like feeding time at the zoo! HA!

I also got this sea salt and Pacific kelp body scrub for the bath that actually smells like bananas and lathers really well. You can't get it here in this shithole country; only in USA but you can order it on Amazon. I love it and the 29 YR old was already ordering some so I just had him order me one too and I paid him back, plus he already gets free shipping ,anyway. I'm also going to order some bath bombs from Lush for my Mother's Day gift from my hubby. He also got a hubcap at a used car place to replace our missing one and is getting the bullet hole in the windshield fixed this week,too, so there goes his entire tax refund.I also saw one of my schools( one that I liked) on the news last night and it made me smile, bringing back happy memories of a good time in my life but it's also sad that all the happy memories are only in the past.

I also got this stretchy squishy Dachshund at Wal-Mart  the other day that's kind of like a stress ball and it makes a cool crunchy sound when you squeeze it but I have to be careful I don't squeeze it too hard  or it might rip like that Stretch Armstrong toy I had as a kid I stretched too hard and the leg tore off and all the gooey stuff inside got all hard. I also had real sour  sour cream the other day with my quesadilla as it had clumps in it but I still ate it anyway( just like the bagel with the green "fuzzies" on it) because food is just so expensive now you can't throw it out or afford to waste it. I also made a creamy chicken with rotini pasta yesterday but it didn't have enough flavour so I had to end up adding more spice and cheese.

It also rained most of the day yesterday but even when it finally stopped Buddy still refused to go outside to pee as he could still smell rain.

 He's such a diva.

 It's a Dachshund thing.

 Dachshunds don't DO rain.

It's also sad to realize that I'm not special to anyone and don't mean anything to anyone except Buddy and I never will and the hardest thing about loving someone too is when you lose them.

So are you tough enough for my love Just close your eyes to the heaven above I'm comin home, I'm comin home.-Cinderella

 

How To Spot An Autistic.

How to recognize an autistic person? How to find one in a crowd?

A "Where's Waldo?" for autistics.

Here's tell-tale signs to look for:

 I found this on Quora:

Mother in the Jungle

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Full Sail, Ashford, AIHCP, MMHA, Certified HypnotherapistSun

How can you tell if someone is masking their autism, particularly if they have Asperger's?

Clinically speaking, asperger’s is high-functioning autism, and there are several key signs to watch for:

No eye contact with strangers, until they know well

Easily frustrated

Perfectionism in all of the tasks performed

Sensitivity to stimulation of the senses The spiked ability of hearing nearly inaudible sounds can cause an overstimulation of multiple sounds happening at once. The overlapping causes confusion, as all noises seem to be at the same level. Sensitivity to light, physical sensations, and some to speaking.

Inability to multitask well, if at all

A multitude of imaginary friends or obsession with stuffed animals

A particular high interest in one area, dinosaurs, space, computers, doodling

Extremely, like over the top, creative

Usually has very few friends

Very good “helper” around the house

Does not show emotions, like crying, in some cases

Confused about processes, unless they go through them one step at a time

Can miss punchlines to jokes and makes up jokes that seem silly

Usually adhere to scheduled and timely tasks

There are other things, but these are the ones that stand out for my family that I’m aware of existing. If I were you, if this is suspected of your child, have them tested, immediately, by a professional. The longer the wait, the less time you’ll have to work with them in getting the necessary assistance.

Also, masking is unintentional. This is how they gain acceptance—by fitting in.

 

Musing For The Day.

 

Ride, Natty,Ride.

Yesterday I got another follow-up e-mail from the lady in the UK making my newest dreads(shown in the photos here) and she said they're ready! Yay! They're just soooo *beautiful*  I want to cry and I can hardly wait for them to arrive,likely in 2 weeks or so! I just hope they don't get lost or stolen in the mail!! I'm sooooo excited to wear them! Yesterday I also visited my mother and a guy complimented my current dreads, which he referred to as my "Jamaican hairstyle". My mother also hit my hubby up for $$$ again but he only had 15$ on him (she whined, "I was hoping for at least 20$" but that was all he had) and she asked him to go get her a hamburger as well, which he dutifully did, even though I've been asking him to get donuts for 3 days! Wendys in USA also has an orange Creamsicle Frosty too but  of course we don't have it here in this shithole. We never get any of the good stuff here. Badminton also ended for the season so from now on I can visit my mother earlier and not be late getting home Sundays for awhile.Yahoo!!

Yesterday it was also a balmy 23 C and I was outside until the rain started (and today it's torrential and Buddy wouldn't go out and just came right back in....and did a huge pee on the floor) and not only did I have the bad cramps and diarrhrea but also later on my stomach felt sick,too( and it still does today!) so what the hell was wrong with that bagel? Yesterday as I sat outside enjoying the sun and nice weather I also saw 2 squirrels picking fleas, ticks, mites, or some kind of bugs off eachother and it was so cute: one layed stretched out all along across the top of the fence and the other picked the bugs off him and then they'd switch places, and an online thing asked, "How would you describe how you're feeling in just one word?" and I answered:

"weary."

With our car looking so "ghetto" with what looks like a bullet hole in the front windshield (my hubby said it'll take his income tax refund to fix) and a hubcap missing at least the good is it's not as likely that anyone will steal it, and my hubby keeps mind-f*cking me and denies I put things on the grocery list even though I know I did, so it either didn't work or it got deleted( or, knowing him he probably deleted it and said I never put it on just to make me think I'm losing my mind) and continues to not replace the empty toilet paper roll when he's the last one to use it but still denies it, even though I know it was him, making me think I'm "losing" it, but narcissists never take responsibility though. Buddy also kept staring intently straight ahead at something yesterday at either something that wasn't there( delusions and hallucinating) or at something only he can see, like he's talking to ghosts, and he often wanders into corners too and gets stuck and barks at me to come get him and he also always stays close to the edges of the wall (like mice!)now,too to navigate now he's blind and won't venture to the middle of the room anymore as it's too "big" and he gets disoriented and lost and he won't wander in the yard anymore,either, for the same reason, and the other day he was waiting at the bottom cupboard door in the kitchen barking at me thinking he was at the back door wanting to go out to pee.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I've been livin' in this lonely world Wishin' I could find someone to love Hopin' someone would come from above Change my life.-Slaughter

 

Daily Pondering.

 

Faith.

I'm still trying to figure out how God best wants me to worship; which faith I should follow and pray in. I was thinking for awhile there that the Jewish faith might be the True faith, esp. since it was the original faith,and the faith of the Old Testament/Torah, and the ancient Israelites were God's Chosen People and Jesus was a Jew, but the problem there is that Jews don't believe that Jesus is the Messiah and even though I have doubts that He's God's Son (I think it's more likely He was His prophet) I still do think He is the Messiah, so there's a biiiig conflict there and I'm NOT willing to give up my Jesus, plus (and no offence) Jews are an "insulted" group and don't really welcome "outsiders" and alot of them are racist, too,esp. to Black people and one thing I won't tolerate is racism, so there's that. So, perhaps Islam would be more suited to me as they acknowledge Jesus as one of God's major prophets and the Messiah who will return and they have strong morality,too,....

but...

I have a hard time seeing Mohammed as a prophet being that he was,well, a warlord and had many slaves and concubines and married a girl when she was just 6 years old which obviously doesn't sit well with me, although to be fair Biblical prophets also had slaves and concubines( think Abraham) and weren't all what you would call  "good" people,either; Moses killed a man, Noah was a drunk, David was an adulterer, etc. no one is "perfect" and God can even use flawed people for His purpose,and then there's parts of the Quran that say good women are obedient and to beat your wife if she disobeys, things like that...

Then there's Christianity, which I was raised with, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around Jesus being God's Son when He's God  and He can just create whoever and whatever He wants by saying "be" and it is, and I can't understand either how a kind loving Father would sacrifice His Son like that, and I don't believe in the Trinity,either, but think God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are 3 separate individual beings that work together as a team, and I think the Eucharist/Communion merely symbolizes Jesus' Last Supper, and then there's the issue of worshipping idols and praying to others other than God(such as Jesus, Mary,and the Saints) and I don't believe Jesus actually died for our sins but that everyone is responsible for their own sins and that He just came to teach us about God.

So....where does that leave me, then? I just worship in private now, just me and God. My faith in God hasn't waned, just in man-made organized religion with so many contradictions, expectations,rules, questions,etc.

I actually do a combination of Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and even Hare Krishna prayers, so I guess I've got it all covered.

I also saw this yesterday and I had the exact same one. A relative( I don't remember who) gave it to me when I was really small, maybe even a baby and I had it for years until I lost it( along with everything else in my room) when we had the fire in 1996. It was sterling silver and I remember having to polish it.I also remember in Ottawa our next-door neighbours kids used to play with ours and one time the girl told our oldest she was at her parents' wedding and he said That's impossible!You wouldn't have even been born yet! and she insited, I was! I was 2 years old and in the wedding photo!  and how their mother yelled at them for "playing in the garden" and he told me "We weren't anywhere near the garden or the flowers!" and then later on I realized she actually meant the backyard  as she was British and British people call their yard a "garden"( I wonder what they actually call the garden, where the flowers grow?) It's sad,too, I found out a few years ago the mother died of breast cancer, and she was just a bit older than me, My hubby's also away all next weekend( Fri, Sat. Sun) in Niagara Falls for his niece's wedding(and they already have 2 kids) so I get a nice break,too, with him gone and yesterday he purposely turned the light off in the kitchen when he knew I was still in there waiting for my bagel to toast!

What an asshole.

Yesterday when I was taking the Shepherd's Pie out of the oven and serving it out my hubby also goes, Where's mine? and I told him he doesn't get any because last time he whined and complained he could see and taste onions in it so now I don't give him any anymore and he can get his own food. 

It's not a restaurant.

 Eat it or starve. 

Today I was also woken up from 3 am(and still ever since) by bad cramps and diarrhrea, my guess from the bagel I had last night that had  a couple of green "fuzzies" on it( even though I picked them off)  and I think what hurts the most about my kids never sending me cards for Mother's Day or my birthday or phoning or e-mailing me is that they don't acknowledge me, or  acknowledge me as their mother; that I'm not even worth the effort, and I have a sad resignation I will continue to suffer for a past I can't escape and maybe the reason my past suicide attempts failed too was because I had to still be here to help my mother transition to her new life at the LTC home and also  to be here for Buddy as he got old. Maybe my vocation is to be a caregiver and then once my job is done I can move on,too?

I guess nothing can last forever.-Bryan Adams

 

Sunday Stuff.

Just like your kids.

HA!

Ewww!

Surprise!

Out-f*ck the f*ckers.

Those things aren't cheap.

We have LOTS of nuts on our fruitcake!!

The best part of being a woman!

Shithole.

I call the Google Home  device Peckerhead, Dickweed, Chode, Dingleberry, etc.

I live an utterly blighted existance.